Horrible home life.

[fester75]

I am 38 years old and living with my parents, because I am a winner. I had a heart attack last year. I have a part-time job. I am attending community college. My parents are not very supportive of my trying to get my life together. They want me out, and they pressure me to leave, but they do not support my attempts to get an education so that I will have the ability to leave. I don't have a car or a license. Mom has a really bad knee and Parkinson's and has a part time job at a hotel. Dad works in construction, but he had damaged both of his shoulders by falling off of two different roofs. I have a hard time not taking one of his guns and just ending it.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello fester75, welcome to our little forum! You don't deserve the pain you are experiencing. Please make use of our little community. Below are suicide resources, followed by low/no cost mental health resources. Please take care, all the best.

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Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255

another: 1-800-SUICIDE (1 800-784-2433)

another: type "Suicide Hotline" in you favorite Internet search

another: SuicideHotlines -- For Suicide Prevention & Emotional Crisis

These are your #1 resources, all other resources are conditional on you staying alive, and Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255 is how you will stay alive.

"Coping with Suicidal Thoughts: A Resource for Patients" -- Suicide resource packet multipage PDF, a work-booklet using Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)

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United States website to find sliding scale "low/no" cost mental health services. Also information on medication assistance: NeedyMeds - Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics U.S. Database

Discussion of low and no cost therapy resources, even in usually under-served areas: Maria Bamford podcast, Episode 95, Jan 04 2013 at minute 6:00.

If you think you might need this resource, then you definitely need this resource - please check out the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network - RAINN at RAINN.org

Google searches for low and no cost therapy resources, even in usually under-served areas: your town or county + one of these terms:

• low cost counselling service
• sliding scale counselling service
• CMHC
• community mental health
• community service board office

From this MentalPod board - some places to get help for people with limited resources:

• Help for little or no money
• Best Insurance Companies/Types for Mental Health Care
• Links for More Mental Health Info/Suicide Hotlines

Here is a post and thread on Reddit about getting medication at low or no cost: Community Assistance Program, accepted at Target pharmacy and many other pharmacies

Cheers to you, for scrolling all the way down to the bottom of this copypasta!

[oak]

Thanks for posting, fester. I am glad you used your words, your voice.

If I may offer my thoughts, as I read.

As a 37 year old who lives with his parents, I believe that my dignity, my intrinsic worth as a human, is separate from the fact that I live with my parents. I would suggest the same for you: you are a person of worth.

As far as living with one's parents, we all do the best we can. Maybe someday soon you'll be on your own. I hope so. But if it takes awhile, you still have intrinsic human worth.

I am sorry you suffered a heart attack. I hope you are enjoying a quick recovery.

Hey congratulations on having a job! That is really great in this post 2008 reality. Remember that "work is love made visible" (Kahlil Gibran).

I am sorry that things are troubled at home, and hope you get a license and car soon, if that is your goal.

I am glad that you have not committed suicide. You are a person of worth and dignity.

[fester75]

I appreciate your kind words. It's hard not to feel like a loser when the parents you live with are doing the best they can to make you feel hated and worthless.

[niravarav]

I appreciate your kind words. It's hard not to feel like a loser when the parents you live with are doing the best they can to make you feel hated and worthless.

Hey faster, never fell like a loser. You're in mentally pressure now so please be relax. Everything will ok. We all are here with you

[wendy]

Fester-- do you have a place where you could go, or even a long bike ride or walk, when your parents start coming down on you so that you are physically away from them?

You are not worthless. The economy sucks. You're smart for continuing your education. I'm sad your parents are so negative towards your goals.