What do you do to comfort yourself?

[Lilac]

My newest anxiety buster is smelling some essential oils. My therapist told me about this one. I chose a scent that I like- lemon,lime and lavender- and keep a small vial of it in my pocket. When I am feeling upset in the supermarket, I just take a little smell and it brings me out of my head and back into my body. Nobody seems to notice that I do it and it would really fast.

[kitkat]

I have a lavender oil too! It's so great. I also have this minty one that is supposed to be used for headaches, but since I have a fear of being sick in public, it helps to make me feel more grounded. It's also a sort of fresh pick me up, hehe.

Have you tried putting the oils under your chin, near your ears? It's nice because it keeps the scent close

[heathen1981]

Some of the things I do aren't really constructive. I tend to get lost in a video game for hours on end because it lets me exist in a world that is not this one. I don't have any of the same anxieties in the virtual world.

I eat too, which is a bit destructive, but I don't gorge myself on food. I eat until I feel comfortable.

[manuel_moe_g]

Lay in bed. Imagining if I could have any food I wish instantly available, and I would lose weight by eating it! A good way for me to fall asleep...

[algernon]

Hello and what a dandy topic.....(HEY MANNY!!)

I read through the thread and found most all the answers posted to be most agreeable.

The reference to oils for scent is a good one....I have a big nose and maybe that's why scents are grounding and highly communicative for me (and for you surely!)

When I peel a grapefruit, I inhale the fresh rind from the inside.....I often smell my fingertips and in chat rooms (I'm kinda done with those now) I would call for others to do the same which got people really humorous....sure some fingertips smell like crotch!.....but most of the answers were probably, "soap!".......soap, yearite!.....your fingertips smell like your anus, I bet!....it was a riot usually....that chat room chide, "smell your fingertips!"....humor needs reality for octane but seriously, please do smell your fingertips often....it reveals life and you get one deep mindful breath for your effort.

When you are often aware of your mood and thoughts, you are in position to respond in your own best interest....

When I am against unpleasant tasks or encounters, I deliberately pause and look for something aesthetic to recognize....a nice piece of furniture, a flower, a dog, a woman's scarf or a nice doorway, the sky.....this is effective on the spot....it inserts a balance to the unease and helps remove me from victim-hood.

There's great oasis when you can hook up with someone NON-TOXIC, to vent of course, but also to just spend time in other conversation....make a phone call to someone right for a nice chit chat.

Getting out of the house is great too. Moping in the house can contribute to a down mood, so I like to get out (I live alone) and when I return home, I love to arrive there so that comes my happy way too.

Pets would be great but I can't take the responsibility now as I travel too much. It's great that cats and dogs and other pets are now clinically prescribed as therapy pets, or were they always? Surely they were always kept for that reason by people making the personal choice themselves. My girlfriend tells me of a doctor's office in Brooklyn or Queens that has a pooch in the waiting room to ease the waiting patients! How nice.

Comfort food I do, but that has guilt potential.....and exercise is always a solid choice when feeling low, even just walking.

Meditation, if you practice it, is vital to do when feeling low....that's the best time to meditate I have read, because it's under that low mood that meditation optimizes the practice....so I try to go to it when the mood is low as a matter of course.

Sex is recommended....with a partner or alone....it's got to benefit our human biochemistry, no? And you get the calming rest after the physical output. (this is an ancient therapy!)

Did anyone mention........DEEP BREATH? LOL......indeed so!

And sleep....naps.....but not to the point of submitting to depression, whereas lousy dreams frequent and other signs of a disturbed sleep.....better to get up and do something even small that helps our cause. Do a little victory, like the laundry, or cook ahead of time....or knock a task or mailing out early....just one or two....and stretch like a cat.....

Yeah, I like this thread, boy!

[anonymoose88]

Until this year, I didn't know the meaning of anxiety. I thought the ideal of it was silly. Simple solution people- just calm down. Of course, now I know it's not that easy.. It's like telling a depressed person to be happy, or be "more grateful" (personal favorite..)

Upon moving into my own place, I experienced silence for the first time ever. Perfect, terrifying, beautiful silence. Since I've never lived on my own, my anxiety grew with this unfamiliar, lonely sound of silence. I actually had to turn on the empty dryer just to hear a familiar, somewhat comforting sound. I am very auditory, so podcasts help with the anxiety, in that it feels like people are with me in the room. It helps when it's funny, and the people are keeping it interesting (why I like MIHH podcast so much).

I don't think I knew what to do with myself when I experienced anxiety as a child, and I think my parents mistook it for asthma. After about 2 years of therapy, I am learning to have compassion for myself and get to the root of the issue. I also have been diagnosed with ADHD and depression, so I often feel hopeless and trapped in a whirl of emotions, that literally makes me dizzy. My unhealthy habit is to oversleep, and I let myself rest when I need it, but when I recognize that I'm using it as an escape, I do something that I know will perk me up, even just in an incremental way- for me, that is painting, writing songs, and playing my ukulele. I found the cold water comment interesting, because that's one thing I do, is drink very cold water. Hydrating myself always makes me feel a bit better, and I can think more clearly.

It takes practice to have patience with ourselves, and sometimes all we can do is ride it out, and know it's temporary. "This too shall pass" is my mantra as I take a deep breath and realize all my anxiety is, is fear.

[bigeekgirl]

At the worst of moments, letting myself cry can be the most comforting thing I can do. I'd been so accustomed to hiding my anxiety, I've found crying gets it "up and out" in many cases. If my husband is available, I'll cry on his shoulder quite literally and I've gotten better at telling him what's wrong but if I can't he's gotten better at understanding sometimes its not anything or it's everything that's ever happened along with worries about the future coming down on me all at once.

I write to figure out hidden worry is at the root of my anxiety as it's often the case when there is no specific threat at the moment some thought has been shoved back into my subconscious and is showing itself as anxiety.

When I have to find a way to "redirect'" or "distract" from anxiety so to go on with functioning, physical activity has become my friend. I'm addicted to my lunch break walk, need it or not, but on anxious days, I don't have a choice but to out on my headphones and sneakers to bust out a mile and a half in 30 minutes. On good "brain" days, I'll listen to podcasts while I walk but on bad days I listen to music. Often, I'll listen to one song dear to my heart on repeat for the whole 30 minutes. It's not always the same song because sometimes I'm looking for a happy song to "uplift" me and sometimes I need a melancholy song to reflect my mood. It depends. But the repetitiveness is as close as I get to meditating.

Reading is my ultimate comfort. My first therapist seemed surprised I could focus on reading in the grips of a panic attack but I can loose myself in words. It's like the story fills up my brain and there's no room left for the bad stuff. I've read myself to sleep every night since 3rd or 4th grade. I haven't gone anywhere without a book since around the same time. Now it's my Kindle, phone and a charger.

Last, but not least, I have been known to masturbate when anxious at bedtime. I've done this one for longer than I've read myself to sleep. Heck, I couldn't even read yet when I was taught how to do it by some slightly older girls. I'm a tad ashamed of it even today when I know intellectually it isn't particularly unusual for kids. If I time it just right, it's about fool proof for drifting off to sleep.

[UnashamedAndAshamed]

Pratuan, regarding your question:

Why does listening to soft or soothing music NOT WORK when I have trouble falling asleep at night?

A few people I asked said they can only fall asleep listening to heavy metal. Back when I asked about it, the heaviest bands out there were Metallica and Iron Maiden. I wonder what they sleep to now.

[Kittieface]

UnashamedAndAshamed, in regards to

Back when I asked about it, the heaviest bands out there were Metallica and Iron Maiden. I wonder what they sleep to now

I bet it's still Metallica and Iron Maiden lol. You can't get away from that time. That's when metal was at its finest!

[bigeekgirl]

Why does listening to soft or soothing music NOT WORK when I have trouble falling asleep at night?

Soft music doesn't do anything for me pretty much ever. I like loud, cranked up all the way in my headphones, rock or - a recent discovery - certain electronic music. Listening to one or two songs on repeat helps me, too. It's meditative in a weird way because I loose my thoughts to it.