Avoiding help.

[Johnny Doppler]

I'm supposed to be compiling reports on what I have been doing all day, and rating my activities for enjoyment, closeness, mastery, and a couple of other things I can't remember, for my therapist.
Instead, here I am having called in sick to work when it was not really needed. I've spent all day buggering around on the internet, and trawling eBay for things I don't need. I know doing this work should help me in the long term, but it feels like so much school homework. And I don;t think I ever did a piece of homework when I was still in education.
So here I am again, knowing I should be doing something to help myself, but doing almost anything to avoid it when I am not actually in front of my therapist.
I'm not at my lowest point, to be honest I'm just feeling flat. But I know that black dog is still out there, and I think the swine might be trying to track me down again.

I don;t know if I should bite the bullet and force myself to sit down with pen and paper, or tell my therapist that I can't work like this, and maybe risk not being able to help myself.

[heathen1981]

Force yourself to do it, even it is excruciating.

I have this problem too. I'm slowly learning to stop myself from fiddling with pointless crap and actually do something constructive. Whether it be household chores, schoolwork, or in your case, something that's helping your therapy, do it! You can ease the pain afterwards by doing that pointless activity after you're done.