Staticbrain

[hookinmyhead]

I just emailed my daily food plan to my sponsor in Overeaters Anonymous, and went on this rant at the end. I decided it was worth posting here too.

Incidentally I find myself right now really really really really really wishing there was ADHD Anonymous. Or a list of ADHD prayers as good as the 12 step prayers. I tried the serenity prayer (and have before) but it didn't help. I feel like my brain is about to go Fukushima. This job is torturing me. But I can't quit because I don't have money and I feel like I can't get a better job until I get better skills, and I feel like I can't get better skills because my brain doesn't work and I procrastinate and I have this job taking up most of my time. Not that I'd do any better if I quit the job because then my time would be unstructured and I'd waste all of it. I feel like a trapped animal, and like a trapped animal, I'd fucking gnaw my leg off if I thought it could help.

[manuel_moe_g]

yeah, I know this feeling

i can only give lame advice, because i am lame, sorry

I slow things down, get really deliberative in my actions and posture and thoughts, and I really take time to sooth the young child inside me that is screaming to be free free free

"I don't hate you, little guy, I know you want to be free free free, but we have to do this work now to escape harsh confinement and constraint later if we don't do this work, please know I am here for you, little guy, and I love you, and I don't hate you, and I honor your pain"

please take care, hookinmyhead, we are here for you!

[gfyourself]

hi hook, I'm having many of the same thoughts about my job that you are. I am paralyzed there. But in the spirit of being positive it is a prison somewhat of my own making in that I'm letting my negative thoughts get to me big-time. I don't know if it is the same for you.
I would like to be able to get out of my own way and treat my job with an appropriate level of seriousness. Yes, it is important, but not life or death.