'I don't know what the fuck I'm doing'

[LondonGFY]

Removed for fear of getting found out

[oak]

Hello.

Thank you for sharing.

There are many issues/topics in your post, and I hope you find healing.

While I am unqualified to speak to many of your topics, I did identify with one.

I have struggled with unsecured debt. I found I struggled with "compulsive unsecured debt". You may want to google that phrase, and see if you can identify with the signs and symptoms.

The good news is that there is hope. There is absolutely. Certainly.

One final word:

Be careful of payday loans. They are predatory.

I say this not to shame you, but to educate you, to warn you. They aren't there to play nice.

Remember: you can get out of this situation. There is a way.

[LondonGFY]

Thank you for the response! I think just an acknowledgement gives me a bit of relief, sort of like a hand on my shoulder so thanks
I don't know what I'm gunna do but I'm not at crisis point yet. I find writing down what's wrong, getting it out if my head onto paper helps. I can re-visit it when I'm feeling stronger or more numb, often I have a different view from when I'm in my pit of desperation, tears and disgust!
Thank you for replying

[Herself]

Are you badly enough into drugs to need rehab? Do you have a professional to speak to? I don't know how it works in England for finding low or no cost help.

It sounds like you need to get away from your brother. Can your sister make him move out? And maybe she would help you or at least be moral support. Have you tried talking about your problems? You could start small, just enough info to see how she reacts.