Not coping

[CoQ10]

Hi
I'm off work and my short term disability is almost over
If I qualify for Long term disability, my income will be cut
way down. That is a big "IF" I dont know if I qualify, then it would be
back to work otherwise
No one knows why i left for sick leave, I dont know if I can really deal with
the people I work with at all too little space for that amount of people you hear
everything
The job i do is more stressful and I feel like I am an "outsider" given less to do already even , causes resentment
Or customer service work is hard and other duties , I'm not sure if I'm equipped to work right now, basically just
I have no answers. Just debt ,
my husband is almost finished school he has no money coming in.
I can't keep living on no money though
This is confusing, draining on marriage
and I had to borrow money from parents
Any advice???
I know I am not coping well but does that mean I would cope well on the job?
Thanks

[manuel_moe_g]

I hear you, CoQ10, and I honor your pain. Please love yourself in the middle of this big mess - you deserve it. Please take care, we here are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow, be open to "undeserved grace from the universe" in this very troubling time.

[CoQ10]

Hi
manuel_moe_g
Thank you for the reply I really appreciate your taking the time! Talk later

[lawlessness45]

I really sympathize with you. I'm in a similar situation, but I'm just working part time right now. I have massive amounts of debt, and really should get another job, but I'm almost certian that if I added another job to my schedule that I'd probably end up killing myself. Can you just work part time? At least that's something. And I try really hard to take it one day at a time when I'm at work. Or one hour at a time. Will they let you choose what hours and times/ days you work? I found that even having control over something like that can make a huge difference. Like, you can mentally prepare yourself for those days and hours. And it's none of your co workers business why you were on leave. You can always say it is personal, and you'd rather not talk about it and would appreciate if they didn't either. Try to keep in mind that you are doing what is best for you (as far as receiving less work and what not). They are NOT you and have no right to dictate what you should or shouldn't do.

Anyway, I'm not sure if you are seeing a therapist but if you are you could ask about strategies to help you cope at work. I do a lot of deep breathing, and on my breaks I listen to calming music. I've even done silly stuff, like walked around with a fuzzy keychain hooked to my belt so I have something to physically focus on when I feel my anxiety rising. Carrying around a tiny perfume bottle or wearing a significant piece of jewlery has helped me too.

Not sure any of this is helpful. All I can say is hang in there!