What the serious f**k, brain?

[BryceLayton]

I hate my mind. I hate the fact that every time I drive past a gas station, I want to pull over, cover myself in gasoline, and light myself on fire. I hate the fact that every time I cross a bridge, I think of jumping. I hate the fact that whenever I'm walking down the sidewalk, I think of throwing myself in front of a car. I'm happier now, I swear I am. So why can't I get these fucking thoughts out of my head? I know I won't do it, so why do I obsess about it so much? I can't let my family know that I have these thoughts. I can't put them through that again. Besides, they'd just tell me to shut up like they did in the past.

[kitterztoo]

Well, that's an awful response from your parents. Have you ever been tested for OCD? I'm a recovering self-injurer so I get impulsive thoughts similar to yours. What I tell myself is, "It's okay. I'm having that thought again. I don't have to act on it." Acknowledge it's just a thought. Accept it's a feeling but look at it like a movie when you picture it in your head. Know that it's there, and you don't have to act on it.

The difference is this: Do you want to do the things you think about or is it just a thought that keeps popping in your head during weird times? If you want to do the things, then I think you may want to tell your parents except tell them you need help and not suggestions of what not to do. Is there a counselor you can talk to at school?

If you keep having the thoughts intrude and you don't want to act on them when it happens say, while video gaming or during a test, you still should tell your parents. Try to tell them you can't control these intrusive thoughts and you need help because you can't control it or not think about it.

I hope you can find some peace. Hang in there.