Male, late 40s. Anxiety, Panic, Fear, Procrastination.

[InSpiteOfEverything]

Hi, everyone. As the subject line says, I am a man in his late 40s dealing with generalized anxiety (that sometimes blossoms in panic or fear) and with the procrastination that this can often cause. When there's something I have to do that makes me anxious, I find a way to ignore it and distract myself with something else. I guess this is denial, no?

I'm seeing a counselor to work on these problems, and I'm also hoping that finding a community online with whom to talk about these things will also help.

That's all for now, but I'll hopefully come back and share some more later.

[ColemanSilk]

I'm kind of like this as well. I put off stuff at work and in my life because it seems stressful to deal. Then of course waiting on things makes them worse and then I get even more stressed and panicky. I think the root cause is I don't like my life or my job but I don't really know what an alternative could be.

[InSpiteOfEverything]

Thank you for responding, ColemanSilk. If you can't think of a better alternative to the kind of work you do or to the life you find yourself living, it might just be depression lying to you about the possibility of being happy. Hang in there, and try talking to someone (if you're not already) about what's going on and what you're feeling.

[Scratch]

Hey, Spite, Silk I have the same problems - did you guys hear the recent episode on Ruminating Thoughts, and if so what did you think?

I have a real problem of just losing patience and concentration and going to go sit down and avoid reality.

[InSpiteOfEverything]

No, I haven't listened to that episode, yet, but I will, thanks to your suggestion.

That sounds like me, sometimes: losing patience with something I'm trying to do and just giving up or avoiding it altogether. I would like to overcome this behavior, as I think my life and work would be much better if I could become more patient when tackling particular tasks.

[Scratch]

Yes! This is me down to a T! I think the key for me is just perseverance. I have finished tasks with tears streaming down my face at the self-hatred for how wrong it's going and how long it's taking me, and got to the end to know I did not-too-bad, and I'll do slightly better next time. Easier typed than done though, right?

[InSpiteOfEverything]

Hey, just checking back in after a few weeks away.

With regard to perseverance, I had a moment of clarity inspired (in part, I think), by this discussion. Here's what happened:

On 2 bike rides in a row, I managed to get a flat tire on my rear wheel. (Bicycle, not motorcycle.) And after the second time I just got so frustrated that I let the bike sit there for a few weeks with a flat. It's kind of tricky to change a flat, in my opinion, and with these particular wheels it's trickier still. Finally, I sat down with my tools and told myself that this was going to be a learning experience: I would let myself feel whatever emotions came up, but I would not abandon the task and I would not add an extra layer of suffering by feeling bad about whatever bad feelings I would have. In the end, yes, it was frustrating, but I had the thought, "Wait a minute. This is hard, and that's kind of the point. Everyone who does this has a hard time with it. It's not just me. I'm not doing something wrong and therefore having a hard time. It's just hard to do this. The point is not to give up."

So while it was still an unpleasant experience for me, I did manage to get it done and (for the most part) to make peace with the idea of this particular task as being unpleasant but still within my capabilities.

I'm not going to claim that everything since then has been cheery, but making that realization has helped.

[Scratch]

Respect man! You've proven yourself a fighter! Once you know you're a fighter, you can keep fighting! I lift my hat to you!