Episode 171

[ghughes1980]

I can't listen anymore. I'm officially done. 15 minutes in and I just can't. Having people recount horrendous abuse is not helpful to anyone. If someone starts to tell something that horrible and traumatizing stop the recorder. Or just rename the podcast to something aproaching the subject matter. I tune in to get perspectives from others dealing with a disease that I also suffer from and to get tips on how to cope. Not to get bombarded by horror stories that may contribute to making mental illness worse but in themselves are not part of the disease. This is exloitative and wrong.

There was more I was going to add but it wasn't coming in a way that made much sense so I deleted it. Let's just say that I'm not understanding the leap that seems to be made often in this show from trauma to disease. I just can't see that happening and it seems to be Paul projecting onto others.

[sdjustinr]

As I understand it, the reason Paul has his guests recount stories of horrendous abuse is not to exploit his guests but to assure listeners who may have gone or are going through something similar that they are not isolated in their pain. I myself love to hear the arc of a guests journey. It assures me that no matter what I've been through that recovery IS possible and that I shouldn't ever give up hope. Wether that makes me something of a rubbernecker as well, well... that's up in the air

The content of this podcast has always been heavy. I don't know that that has changed in any way recently. (I'm inclined to say it hasn't, but I guess could be wrong.)

I don't know that there's a medical consensus that mental illness is JUST a disease. I have developed my own opinion on the matter, after a decade of receiving treatment from various doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists who each also had their own opinions on it. So the fact that you don't understand the leap from trauma to disease isn't unusual, and isn't just a specific flaw of the show. Modern science doesn't totally get it either.

[ghughes1980]

A lot of these abuse situations would be better recounted on another type of podcast. They aren't the same topic as mental illness that's my point. The way assault is brought up in this show I find exploitative. Just listen to the actual questions being asked. They are leading which is not the way to go about it. A leading question is designed to inflame not insight.

[brave-girl-living]

I think that if Paul was actually exploiting, than the guests he hosts would not be so grateful to him after the interview. End of story.

If you do not like it, if it is triggering or upsetting or you doubt the purpose or motivation of the podcast, than I truly do think you should look somewhere else. The organization NAMI has a podcast called "conversations about mental illness". Perhaps that would be more helpful. It is more of a doctor's office or reference book vs a waiting room that doesn't suck.

There are times I pull my ear buds out to avoid hearing certain parts of a story that I anticipate as personally upsetting. Doesn't happen often enough for me to want to stop listening, personally.

Blessings!

[CharlotteC]

Tom's opening story just filled me with empathy. I'm glad he told it. Having experienced sexual coercion and abuse from the age of 11, I find stories about men's past sexual abuse help me feel connected to them. It's good to know that there are men out there who understand what it feels like. I want to give Tom a big hug and tell him everything's going to be okay. And also a big thank you, and a thank you to Paul for letting him tell that story. I've told edited versions of my stories of abuse to a sympathetic partner, but never in detail to someone whose feelings I didn't have to worry about. To have someone ask, have the courage to ask, how did you feel about that? -- well, I think that would let me express a lot of feelings I've held inside a long time. I love to hear people answer that question.

Paul often warns people when the podcast is going to be a heavy one. I didn't think this one was super dark, considering. But I also think it's perfectly okay, if an episode triggers you or disappoints you in any way, to take a break or go back and listen to one that made you feel good. There are plenty of those, fortunately

[Fargin]

I thought it was pretty profound.

Remember this very significant part of his story wasn't really revealed before the interview had ended and Tom privately decided to ask Paul's opinion about it. I thought it was a testament to Tom's courage to reveal such a shameful experience for the very first time and then also to Paul for realizing it's importance and record it.

Some of the most important traumas are so painful, we bury them so deep, that when we finally seek therapy, the source of our problems can be very difficult to find. I'm 40 years old and it's only been a few years, since I began giving enough weight to the primarily psychological abuse in my childhood home. I used to say: "I had a pretty good childhood, no one ever laid a hand on us."

[ScottMentalPod]

I enjoyed the interview. It was a great story about his battle with addiction. It was funny and relaxing at times when making fun of the pain.

What frustrated me some of the shame and secrets. It is good that it is at the end of the show. "I have XYZ but haven't been diagnosed with XYZ." I'm a cutter diagnosed with depression. What the fuck! That sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. Please read Stop Walking On Eggshells. I think people are trolling Paul and doesn't feel healthy. I think the people are just getting off on Paul reading what they wrote. I guess we just have to take the good with the bad.