44-year-old mom, probably depressed

[TinaMarie1234]

I know that this is an old post, but would love to hear back from the original poster - Debra N - How are you doing?

I did want to say that one of my good friends is a therapist and considers it a calling, so while she has to make a living, she also wants to serve some people regardless of ability to pay. For a small number or percentage of clients, when parents don't have the cash, she'll forgive the insurance copay or if they don't have great insurance coverage, she'll do a sliding scale. Also, not sure where you live, but some towns/villages have a mental health service - a friend of mine used the local mental health services when she didn't have insurance to cover it and found it very helpful.

I have also found that, regardless of therapy, I started exercising and it helped enormously. I was getting way out of shape, gaining weight and just waiting for life to start - waiting for some future day when some grand change happened to save my life from the shitstorm that it is. I decided that I needed to do something in the short-term so that I wouldn't be in bad shape by the time I started acting to improve my life. I started slowly with walking, than running early in the morning, but now do a bi-weekly bookcamp. Exercise has made a great change in my overall mood and I'm in better shape in my late 40s than I ever was in my 30s. Alternatively, the blog has a list of things to do to make yourself feel better, where you might find something that works for you.

Lots of great response posts here - I hope that you found some of them helpful. Please let us know what you are struggling with or conquering these days.

[DebraN]

Hi TinaMarie and everyone else who replied,
How totally weird that I happened to check this post and see that TinaMarie asked for an update just a few days ago...I haven't looked at this thread in a year and a half. Spooky.

Anyway, thanks to all who replied with their thoughts and help. It really feels great to see people relating to what I'm going through.

Things have not really changed much with me. I did go for a physical recently and discussed my depression with my doctor, who ended up giving me a prescription for fluoxetine (Prozac). I've been on it for about 17 days and I don't feel any different. I know it can take up to 8 weeks for it to kick in so we'll see.

My youngest child will be starting preschool in the fall, so that will give me a chance to seek out some therapy. I do have insurance that will cover most of it now, so that will be good.

Hugs to all the moms out there.

Debra

[TinaMarie1234]

I am glad you posted again and glad that you now have insurance and the kids are getting to a more independent age. If you cannot start therapy now, consider trying to at least do something for yourself. I started out by walking in the early mornings with another mom, then running, etc. 3 years later, it feels like exercise has now become a really great outlet for me and perhaps one of the few functional things in my life. It makes my body feel good and helps keep the depression away.

Also, that mom and her partner, are really sweet, really kind people. Just having some other moms that I can talk with about issues with 2 of my kids and having them as resources for other things in my life has been really nice. I cannot confide in them about everything in my messed up world, because they live too close to me and know too many people that I know. They understand some of the kid issues that I struggle with and are understanding about that. Just having nice people in my life, whose families are functional and who my kids can look up to is a huge help. I will take those friendships and resources where ever I can find them at face value. I have a few key people that I can confide in with all my shit and try to support that friendship in any way I can as it's not a mutual friendship - I take more than I can ever give. So, I try to give in ways that reflect my appreciation for their support and that are tailored to their needs.

Please do something nice for yourself this week or whichever week you read this. Something just for you.