Love Addict, Bipolar 2, Mom on a Healing Mission

[vanbipolar]

Hello,

I'm a long time listener of Paul's show. I hear him talk about the forums a lot so I wanted to check them out and tell my story. I'm looking forward to reading everyone else's as well.

I was raised in a very dysfunctional home until I was nine. My mom was bipolar who self medicated with drugs and my dad was an alcoholic. They both cheated on each other often and abused me both physically and sexually. The sexual abuse wasn't that bad and was from my father and I was very young - maybe 6. I was neglected to put it bluntly. Mom moved out on the street when I was 7. Dad remarried a woman who beat the living crap out of me for 2 years. Child services came and I went to live with relatives who really loved me until I was 24. Mother died when I was 16 from an overdose - that was really hard on me. Got pregnant and lost the baby 2 months later. First boyfriend dumped me a week later - poor me!! Jk

Even though I had a great environment after the age of 9, I acted out terribly. I used drugs from 14 onwards, slept around and basically sought out attention any way I could. I hung out with a bad crowd and my boyfriends usually ended up in jail. I married one of these men when I was 20 and had 2 kids. Advice to all: don't marry a bad boy - it's all heart ache. He was murdered when my youngest was 1 and that's when I realized that I really had a problem of attracting drama into my life.

Went to the dr and got incorrectly diagnosed with depression. Took pills for a long time with no really benefit. Was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2, anxiety and PTSD. The meds seem to be helping. I still feel the need to get attention but I am going to meetings and working through the steps. Main goal is to be a good mom and partner. It's been a tough road but I don't feel sorry for myself. It's all about choices now and I'm really trying.

Look forward to meeting others here.

[manuel_moe_g]

vanbipolar, you are a survivor. You deserve much better than your past environment would suggest. You rock! Please take care, all the best, we here are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow!

[vanbipolar]

Thanks for the reply! It's nice to be here. You are so positive - it's a great motivator.

[RisingUpAgain]

Keep up the good work. You have been through a lot. You will probably "fail" a bunch in the future but all that matters is that you keep getting up and trying to learn from your mistakes. Things do get better even if it is slowly. : D