Hello! 15 minutes and that's the title I finally decide on.

[Syuni]

Hello everyone! I am a 29 year old woman with social anxiety, mild depression, and just multiple problems from a mentally abusive father and later a mentally abusive boyfriend. My husband listened to a single episode of this podcast and told me multiple times that he thought I'd like it. I decided to throw it into my lineup of podcasts and it is now one of my favorites. I am incredibly interested in mental illness ever since a few years back I started finding blogs. I knew there was something wrong with me, but I never really thought of my problems as a "mental illness". I would always blame myself and point out what's wrong with me, things that I can't do where normal people have no problem doing. While I've never been to a doctor specifically for my anxiety, my anxiety has caused enough health problems for my regular doctor to put me on medication. Sharp chest pains, heart palpitations, and a fast resting heart rate. I sat on it forever, finally my fear of dying (and I got a UTI) caused me to talk to my doctor about it. After tons of tests and bills, the doctors found nothing wrong with my heart and figured out it's my anxiety causing me to have an overactive heart. I guess that was the first step in the direction of realizing I have an illness instead of something is just "wrong with me". While that sounds funny to think like that, it was a breakthrough in my head. Categorizing it as an illness in my head has given me the mental tools to process it differently and help myself more. That and having a very supportive husband that understands me and who also has social anxieties but without a traumatizing past to make them worse.

And also this podcast! Which has opened my eyes even more and helped me either work on my problems, or cope with them better. This post and potentially more is also something I'm working on, as even talking on the internet to anybody except a select few people makes my stomach ache.

Thank you for reading this, I better press the submit button before I panic and delete everything.

[RisingUpAgain]

I'm glad you decided to post and that the podcast has been helpful. I know the podcast has helped me a lot. I'm sorry that you went through the abuse that you did. I'm glad you realized that it is an illness. You are not anxiety, you have it. : D

Keep on doing the good work : D.

[Syuni]

Thank you very much! I told myself to go ahead and post something, because I know if I get any kind words I'll feel better, and I do! Thank you!!

[RisingUpAgain]

You're welcome. I am glad you are feeling better. A few kind words can go a long way!

[KathyArsis]

I am like you. I am 29 i suffer from severe anxiety and depression. my father was abusive and my mother abandoned me emotionally as achild and then all ogether at 14. Personally i think people who dont have some form of anxiety or either babies or fools. Most ppl with depression possess a higher intellect. I have found shelter from this all too often wicked world with my husband. I find happiness in being good to him, he finds hapiness in being good to me. I am happy to assume you have found the same. you sound like a amazingly wonderful person, the kind that can find beauty even in the parts of you that are wounded and scarred, which is no small feat, and is something to be envious of. Kudos

[Syuni]

Thank you very much for your kind words, they mean a lot!

I have definitely found happiness in being good to my husband and he finds happiness being good to me. I am lucky to have his support. I am happy you have experienced this as well. It's a wonderful feeling but it's also somewhat foreign for anybody suffering from abuse.

Thank you again. You have such kind words to say to others experiencing problems, you sound like a wonderful person.