ADHD/OCD hybrid kinda problem?

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lostflames
Posts: 8
Joined: August 9th, 2014, 11:02 pm

ADHD/OCD hybrid kinda problem?

Post by lostflames »

Okay so, sometimes I'll be thinking in my head about some stuff (nothing in particular that's important), and I'll mess up my train of thought, so I have to go back and either repeat the thought in my head or aloud constantly until I get it right.
And on top of that, there's usually about 5 of these going on at once.

I literally have to keep lists every single day to keep track of anything cus my mind is all over the place and I can hardly ever get a straight though across before it gets messed up and has to be repeated.
Luckily, it only gets severe like that for a week or so out of every couple months, but does anyone else have issues like this? If so, how do you cope?
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manuel_moe_g
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Re: ADHD/OCD hybrid kinda problem?

Post by manuel_moe_g »

I cope by slowing everything down and meditating for a few seconds to get me through the next 30 seconds. Also, I make sure I am self-loving to myself in the times I don't feel very capable.

Please take care, you are being too hard on yourself. Don't punish yourself for not getting through lists. All the best, cheers.
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Holly
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Joined: October 27th, 2015, 6:08 pm
Gender: female
Issues: ADD, OCD, depression, recovered anorexic,
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Re: ADHD/OCD hybrid kinda problem?

Post by Holly »

Just realizing now that the original post was from over a year ago, so I am not sure if anyone will see this, but lostflames - I can relate.

I was diagnosed with OCD about 8 years ago. Though I sometimes got the lovely "but aren't OCDs supposed to be super neat?" type of doubts from people, I do have many classic symptoms (needing to check the oven or hair straightener/lock doors/wash hands certain numbers of times - for me, it's 5, or multiples of 5 if I get thrown off) and it was a fairly straightforward diagnosis. Now the general population has a pretty huge misunderstanding of OCD and its nuances (no, just because you prefer to arrange your bookcase in a certain way and say you're "like, totally OCD about it" does NOT mean you get it, go fuck yourself. If someone putting a book in the wrong spot causes you panic and dizziness and you have to take all the books out and put them back properly because now the order has been contaminated and it will cause your family to die, okay, then we can talk). However, I was still relieved to have a name for some of what went on in my head, and even with the stigma, it's still a name I knew - definitely not the most obscure diagnosis in the canon.

The part that still eluded me though was that, despite how unhelpful it is for someone to comment on it, I did wonder why I wasn't the neat-as-a-pin OCD stereotype we all know. In fact, I'm kind of the opposite. When trying to keep my bedroom neat, for example, I'll start one task and then I'll get distracted by something and space out, going from one random thing to another until hours have passed. At work, I would find myself agonizing about getting things done perfectly, but I would sometimes have trouble remembering something I was just told to do, because even though I meant to listen and thought I was listening at the time, my mind was actually somewhere else. The refrain of my childhood and all through school was that "Holly is so smart and capable, but she needs to pay attention/apply herself/just focus/work harder etc." The bottom line of the message, every time I received it, was that I'm just being lazy and not trying. I was never tested for ADD/ADHD at all, and only just received an ADD diagnosis last year, when I turned 24. I was seeing a new psychiatrist for my OCD and depression and was put on Lexapro, but while it helped ease the obsessiveness, I was spacier than ever at work. I could not focus for anything, no matter what I tried. Though the anxious thoughts weren't running the show in my head, I suddenly missed them, because at least they kicked my ass enough to keep me sort of on task. I explained what a mess I was to my psychiatrist, and that conversation led to another conversation that in turn, led to her diagnosing me with ADD. "It happens," she said, "but it's tricky because a lot of the standard treatment for the OCD is likely to worsen the ADD symptoms and vice versa. For instance, most people treat ADD with stimulants, but that can really kick obsessive thinking and anxiety into high gear, especially for someone whose already so susceptible to that."

My first thought was, "so basically, I'm fucked." My second thought was, "Goddammit, why didn't they even think to test me for this back when I was, say, seven years old, and maybe I'd have a handle on it? Instead of just telling me to try harder all the time? Yeah, that would have been nice." Well, I'm still resentful about that second thing, but after a pretty rough few months of trial and error, we seem to have found a decent balance of medication types and dosages to treat both my ADD and OCD simultaneously. It's a rough combination to be stuck with and challenging to explain to others, but it is legit. I personally can't get through without medication. I have tried, but usually letting everything run wild results in some pretty intense depression. I can still sink pretty low sometimes, but the meds keep everything more manageable. It's the difference between carrying a stack of dictionaries and carrying that same stack, but on roller skates two sizes too big - either way, you're carrying a heavy load, but in the former case you have your footing.

Anyway, this tangent got way longer than I'd intended. Blame the ADD.

Solidarity, my friend <3
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