I happened upon the podcast a few weeks ago, just before getting a bipolar diagnosis. I came in on an episode where a comedian or performer (I can't recall the specifics) was talking about how medication helped him to be present with his son. I knew that medication was in my future, and I was hoping to have the same response to it that he had where it was sort of like a light switch and he was suddenly able to be present. I got some of the effect, but not quite what I'd hoped for.
I was recently diagnosed as bipolar following a manic episode in which I lost my fiancé, my home, my car, my job, my professional network and many friends. In retrospect, there were warning signs, but I didn't see them. I'm now finding myself in the midst of anxiety and fear about my future. I wish I'd known sooner so that I could have prevented these things from happening, but I'm trying now, moment by moment to rebuild my life and continue on.
The benefit of being unemployed, penniless, and too anxious to leave my brother's basement where I'm now living is that I qualified for Medicaid and was finally able to get into a Mental Health Center. I only wish I'd been able to find help before my life was reduced to ashes. I knew things were going off the rails when I found myself on the railing of my 8th floor balcony a year and a half ago.
That's the long and short of it, I guess. I've been writing about my experiences on my blog, as that's all I seem capable of doing these days. I've never actually joined a forum before, but here I am
