New for now

[worthlessontheinside]

I am a woman who has had much time devoted to learning about my illness of depression and then anxiety - It doesnt mean that i get well - another day today shows me that. I am moving and doing things that will be positive for today - and within the last few weeks come into the world of podcasts - LOL - really funny because i am always thinking that I am on the back end of things and this is proof - listening to MI HAPPY HOUR is great - I have wanted this for awhile - a way to talk about my illness that helps me learn and grow - and when i first tried it, i HATED it - i started with the year 2014 and the readings at the beginning were so raw that i felt put off - but then i kept going because I knew it might be "just me" - (that tells me I have grown)

Can i get some constructive feedback?
What is it about the illness (i think its the depression part -altho it could be anxiety) that when i talk it feels like the words i say FALL OFF A CLIFF - that part of SELF CONSCIOUS just seems to SHOUT OUT LOUD without making a sound - its SO obvious to me but not anyone else
I really want the SELF CONSCIOUS to be gone - it could help me relax like a LOT

I have had treatment that has NOT worked with a list of antidepressants that could choke a horse - so its a time of without medication which is also important to note

There is NOTHING WRONG WITH MY LIFE - It really is ALL IN MY MIND - so I am working on changing the input

thanks for listening

[EffexorEllen]

There are plenty of things wrong with your life. But those things are all things that you've conjured up in your worst moments and aren't necessarily real. I know that this is going to sound like something that you'll roll your eyes at, because that's how depression clouds shit. But you aren't worthless on the inside.

[worthlessontheinside]

Thanks for the reply - I agree - I just wish it (the depression) would let go of me - I get tired of it and then when it is gone, wonder why - its like i lost something - kind of silly that- just trying to keep moving.. thanks for listening

[EffexorEllen]

It's like a really toxic friend. You need them, but depression never fails to be a total douchebag to you when it's around. But you get so comfortable that, well. You can't picture life without it. Have you been in therapy for your depression?

[Abraham12li]

ey all. Just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Daisy and I have ignored my problems for so long that I let them take everything from me. I am an avid writer who tries to record my flashbacks with a pen.