Hi. Am I in heaven or is it hell?

[cureforoptimism74]

Hi All:

Longtime listener, first-time poster. I had the pleasure of meeting Paul a few weeks ago while on vacation in L.A.

My issues: depression, anxiety, body acceptance/reluctance to change, sleep difficulty, misophonia, loneliness (even though I'm in a relationship), low self-worth, possible "midlife crisis."

I'm a 40 year-old aging metal/goth/alternative chick - two cats, no children. Educated professional in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area. I could play the "goth poet" card and say no one gets me, but I had a bad experience with that type. I think I love someone I can't be with (for now, anyway) and am unsure as to whether or not I should break up with my boyfriend. Before you judge (I *know* loneliness more than many people) I'd like you to know I've been the person who would do so, since I can and have lived alone. I'm all too used to being alone. It's OK sometimes - I think I need a lot of "me" time - but when I have to go to concerts alone it sucks.

Perhaps this sounds tame and normal to some of you. Sorry I've never been one of the long-term unemployed and I know where my next meal is coming from, but don't think I haven't suffered. I hate how I look (my thyroid condition ruined my life.) I think my parents fucked me up in the sense that they had their own mental struggles but never addressed them. Who knows what the hell Dad's problems were (there were many); my mother took out her frustration on me instead of my brother. She's passive in that she talks to people about me in private or when I am within earshot. Apparently she doesn't understand the principle of soundwaves.

I look forward to conversing with you folks on this forum.

Debbie (cureforoptimism)

[manuel_moe_g]

Welcome to our little forum, cureforoptimism74! Make yourself at home in our threads and topics.

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On this forum you will meet people just like you - you are not alone. Keep the lines of communication open, cheers, all the best, we here are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow!

[NeedAmor]

hi. just came here a while ago, so that's makes the two of us both newbie. welcome : )