Found the courage to register today. I'm 49, male, and for the sake of argument, might have an issue or two...
The alcohol and drug thing goes back to age 15. I even went through the aversion therapy to stop drinking, Raleigh Hills hospital, before I had my drivers licence. Suicide attempt at 26 yrs old, more drug/alcohol treatment centers than Motley Crue has been trough. Always had sleeping disorders. I slept, but was still aware of the room and everything going on in the house.
I'm 49 now. Never missed a days work in 20 yrs. The addiction got the best of me one day. I lost that job, and went into a downhill spiral.
Two weeks later, I wake up in a hospital under suicide watch. Diagnosed with drug addiction (huh, really?) and a new one....Bi-Polar.
I liked that, as it was something new and different.
Honestly, one drug saved my life. Thats called seraquil. When I take that, I sleep like a normal human! Worked great from the first small sliver they gave me. I built myself up from 170 lbs up to 210 lbs through work and very mild testesterone abuse....I mean, not abuse, but not missing a dose (all legally prescribed). I really dont do anything in moderation. Oh, yea..suboxone. I've cut down, but I wont give it up.I believe it numbs me enough to deal with life.
Is it right, or perfect? I dont think so. Is it better than I've ever been? For sure.
You'll have to excuse me for this getting long. Its a small snapshot of who I am, and where I've been.
The secret I dont want anyone to know? I'm not depressed. I'm just not as thrilled to be alive as most suicide survivors claim to be.
THANK YOU for being here. You peopel are incredible.
Hello from th ewest
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manuel_moe_g
- Posts: 3413
- Joined: October 3rd, 2011, 9:04 am
- Gender: Male
- Issues: Depression, Anxiety
- preferred pronoun: he
- Location: Orange County, CA
- Contact:
Re: Hello from th ewest
Hello rc409, welcome to our little forum! Make yourself at home in the threads and topics here.
Forum tips: You can keep up with all activity on the forum by clicking “View active topics” under the main Board index. And when you post, you can subscribe to the replies by clicking on “Subscribe topic” at the bottom of the page – you can also use this functionality to subscribe to new replies of any topic that interests you.
Thank you for being so open in your introduction. Thank you for taking us through the list of challenges of your life. Please take care.
Forum tips: You can keep up with all activity on the forum by clicking “View active topics” under the main Board index. And when you post, you can subscribe to the replies by clicking on “Subscribe topic” at the bottom of the page – you can also use this functionality to subscribe to new replies of any topic that interests you.
Thank you for being so open in your introduction. Thank you for taking us through the list of challenges of your life. Please take care.
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http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
http://www.reddit.com/r/obsequious_thumbtack -- Obsequious Thumbtack Headdress
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rc409
- Posts: 89
- Joined: July 24th, 2015, 1:52 pm
- Gender: m
- Issues: Suicide, bi polar, depression, addiction
- preferred pronoun: he
Re: Hello from the west
Do you guys/gals ever get to the point where you just laugh at yourself for this stuff?
I was listening to the latest podcast today. I found some comfort in the opening .There were at LEAST 2 mentioned disorders I never had, or even came close to having. Not much more than that, but still.....
I was listening to the latest podcast today. I found some comfort in the opening .There were at LEAST 2 mentioned disorders I never had, or even came close to having. Not much more than that, but still.....