I hate camera's and mirrors

Share about body image related issues. To share about physical struggles, i.e. pain, exhaustion, disabilities etc go to the "Physical Struggles" subforum.
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Miss Manda
Posts: 4
Joined: October 20th, 2015, 1:33 pm
Gender: Female
Issues: Major Depression, social anxiety, self-loathing, anxiety
preferred pronoun: she

I hate camera's and mirrors

Post by Miss Manda »

I'm curious if this happens to anyone else....
After insane amounts of self-talk, trying to convince myself "I look good", I'm not fat", I finally start to believe it and it feels great! Then I see a picture of myself and how good I DON'T look and how fat I REALLY am, and I spiral down further and further, until all I can think about it how gross and ugly I am and why would anyone like me cause I'm so hideous! My does my boyfriend even stay with me!?! I hate camera's and mirrors because they show me exactly what I don't want to see... the truth of what I actually look like. Why can't I just look like what the image in my head shows me before I look into mirrors? It makes me so sad. Sometimes, I just want to disappear.
"It's not that I so badly want to die, but at these times I struggle for desire to live" - Tiger Army
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MichaelHung
Posts: 26
Joined: January 13th, 2014, 6:10 pm

Re: I hate camera's and mirrors

Post by MichaelHung »

This happens to me all the time! I try to forget what I look like and build confidence in myself through my interactions with people and my personality...but then I see myself in a picture and I shut down completely. I go into a full depression, isolate so no one can see the fat person I've become, and lose all sense of self-worth. I then spiral down the dark hole of "no one will ever want me and no one will ever love me." It's so sad how much body image can cripple us...I know logically that doesn't define me as a person...but emotionally I'm a slave to my body image.
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