Mother's Day Blues

[adastra]

Hi everyone,
This is my first mother's day post fallout with my mother, I've been feeling terrible about it all week. She was extremely toxic, manipulative and just all around bad news?
Anyone else relate or have tips on how to deal with holidays without a family member? I don't know how to explain to others when asked "what are your plans on sunday with your mom?" looking for any suggestions or shared experiences

[Murphy]

I haven't experienced this, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're going through it.

Can you maybe just tell people that you & your mom aren't close and leave it at that? I would imagine that people who are asking casually probably wouldn't pry any more into that.

[meagunn]

Oh boy. It's hard, and I can relate. The "Well, me and my mom aren't close" response only goes so far, and for me personally I feel kind of like an asshole when I use it, since it's confirming something I wish weren't true. My mom is also extremely toxic, and I have been able to go non-contact with her for the past year so far. This Mother's Day, I am trying to remind myself that you can't go back to a dry well to get water.

It's hard to avoid other people asking about it, if they do (which they really shouldn't; family stuff isn't anyone's business). But to deal with it on your own, I'd suggest doing something for yourself. Something special that you really enjoy. Hell, turn it into a freedom celebration if you want. Or just eat something good and go watch a movie. Get your mind off stuff.

This Mother's Day, I'm going hiking. Without my mom.