Confusing memories, attempting to deal

[Millibee]

Hi,

I am not 100% sure if this is the right place. Sorry if it's not.

I have a bunch of memories I believe will never be clear because of a combination of things; the age I was, the way trauma affects memory formation and recall, and years of repression. It's really bothering me that I don't really know what happened and probably never will.

I am trying to process via the "if, then" model. For those who aren't familiar it works like this: if X happened then how do you feel/what do you need/what did you need at the time etc.

Has anyone had any luck trying this approach? I have been referred for more therapy and might be waiting months but I can not wait that long to start dealing with this. As the flashbacks abd PTSD symptoms are horrendous.

[rivergirl]

Hi Millibee,
I'm sorry you're experiencing such terrible symptoms. I wonder if you could get help sooner from one of these organizations (if you're in the U.S.) ...

Speak Your Silence - Provides counseling to survivors of childhood sexual abuse anywhere in U.S.
https://speakyoursilence.org/

RAINN - Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
https://www.rainn.org/

[Millibee]

I am not in the USA but thank you. It's still useful, because there are similar organisations here.

Isn't it funny the way sometimes really obvious things to do don't I cut to you at all?

[rivergirl]

I would imagine organizations and therapists who deal with sexual abuse have a lot of clients who don't have clear memories of their abuse. I hope you find the right kind of therapy and/or support group one way or another and start to experience some relief from your symptoms. Take care, Millibee.