Is this depression, if not what do you think it is?

[qwert_zxc]

I know right now that I have ADHD but some of the stuff I'm doing doesn't sound like ADHD symptoms. I want to know if the stuff I am doing are symptoms of some mental illness and if so what can I do to get help. So let me explain, first off I am somewhat of a hermit. I can make friends at school but whenever they try to invite me to hang out I make excuses as to why I can't hang out. I would ususlly go home just to play video games or go on my computer all day. I am starting to break that habit but for the longest time I just did not want to be with any peers. Also I had social anxiety for a long time. I just beat it like half a year ago. So you're probably thinking right now oh I'm probably just an introverted person but trust me it gets worse. So this next part I had to build up a lot of courage to openly talk about because it's just so goddamn embarrassing. I have a real bad hygiene problem. I don't clean my room, I go weeks without showering, don't change my bed sheets enough and etc. Wow that's embarrassing . I heard that this is called self neglect and I read the cause for this and it sounds like the reason I have poor hygiene. I just don't have the motivation. Idk y but I don't have the motivation to do anything to I would say better myself. In a way I don't care for myself but I want to. And this is the biggest problem I have that I want to deal with because it's nasty. But I find it kinda weird that I have acknowledged the problem but still need help, you'd think me not wanting to be like this is all it would take to make a change but for some reason I'm still not motivated. Also I am not motivated at all in school but idk that could just be a teenager thing. Lastly A LOT goes on in my head. I know it is normal for human beings to have an internal dialogue but my mind is constantly racing. This might not even be a mental illness trait and personally don't mind it for the most part so I'll keep it short so I can wrap this up. ALL the time I am engaged in like really deep thought. There is never a moment my brain is in autopilot. Like every little thing I do I have to think massively about. That's the best I could do to explain it cause it's hard to explain. Also I always feel this sense of like whats the point of anything. I had these feelings and thoughts I can remember since preschool but only started really thinking about them in freshman year of high school two years ago because the thoughts were too complex and scary back then. I'll be doing something and then the thought that everything is meaningless, everyone I know and I and my probable future children will die and even someday humanity will die so whats the point. That type of thinking happens a lot. So what do you guys think what I want to know the most is why am I like this about my hygiene and why do I have no motivation for anything? Oh yeah and sometimes I get stressed out and anxious over absolutely nothing.

[SallieMaesBitch]

Dear qwert_zxc,
It's hard enough to understand what's going on in my own head let alone someone else's, but many of the things you described are things that happen with my depression. I find the worse my depression gets, the worse my hygiene and dirtier my apartment--and then that affects my mood as I get pissed off that I'm such as slob and hate myself for that as well, making things worse. The thing is, I actually like things clean, and that's one of the clues that this is something to do with my depression since depression usually takes away. That's how I heard someone describe it once: you know you have depression when you don't want to do the things that you want to do. I made a video a while back designed to educate people who don't have depression what it's like through comedy, and the first (so far only) episode deals with the hygiene side of things, feel free to check it out here https://youtu.be/tw9m0xFUBRM .

[justkeepswimming]

Hi friend,
I just want to let you know that you aren't alone. I have struggled with depression since I was 16 or so and I have experienced many of the same things you have. I usually go 3 days without a shower and a month can go by without me doing dishes or cleaning my apartment. When I am in a depressive phase, I become utterly unmotivated to take care of myself and honestly it almost feels like I become afraid of getting out of bed to shower (only god knows why!). Honestly, the only thing that seems to help me is having a reason other than myself to get out of bed. When I was in high school, going to therapy helped tremendously. Therapists can help you discover the meanings behind your thoughts and actions. I understand the constant deep thinking and I have come to find that is just a part of my personality and thought processes. Sometimes journaling can help the heaviness of your thoughts lift just a bit but I would suggest talking with your doctor or a therapist to help you cope with your struggles. Best of luck! Sending hugs

[Veggie girl]

Hi, I'm no expert for sure but I've been around the block as they say. It sounds like some depression but I'm thinking of OCD, has anyone talked to you about that?? ((Hugs))

[Imissmysun]

yes sir, it sure does sound like our old friend depression - that awful monster that sucks even the most basic abilities from us - and while I have not been in such a dark place that I don't shower I know of many people who have experienced this and its an awful thing to know that you want to change to know that it would just be a shower and then just not being able to move your body to do it - in fact playing the game or the computer sometimes seems like a monumental task -

I live my life in a general feeling of grey - my life is lived with a dull shade over all my emotions - that is how my depression works it had systematically changed my brain chemistry over the last 30 years or so in that my new normal is most peoples depression -

It is a sucky place to live -

Find a counselor to talk to at school

[hobojungle]

Another good indicator that you might be suffering from a mental illness is genetics. Do you have anyone in your family who has had a major depression? This is a terrific example of why we need to discuss our mental health issues more openly: to help our young people. I think of the impact this would have had on my own life as a teen, which was a very dark time for me.