elephant shit

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E is for Elephant
Posts: 71
Joined: April 1st, 2015, 7:24 pm
Gender: female
Issues: anxiety, depression
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Brooklyn, NY

Re: elephant shit

Post by E is for Elephant »

Never quite sure how I feel when Paul reads one of my survey's on the show. It's such of a weird of: "oh my god, people are going to hear this and judge me!" and "Yay, acknowledgement that I'm not completely inarticulate and useless!"
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Imissmysun
Posts: 282
Joined: June 29th, 2016, 5:44 am
Gender: Female
Issues: Anxiety, Depression, past trauma healing,
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Central New York

Re: elephant shit

Post by Imissmysun »

I heard your survey and my response was excitement, "Oh my gosh I "know" her!!!"

Of course I have never met you nor do I know really much else about you but your very amazing entries on this forum - however - there was nothing to judge - I cannot judge anyone else when I am a broken vessel - everyone listening is thinking - "Whoa mind blown!" because that was how I felt when I read the loving you loving me quote (I can't remember how it goes and if I try I am going to George Bush it up) - you had left it on one of these threads somewhere and I just don't remember where - but I loved it there and I am super happy that the whole podcast community can hear it!

So yay! this was better than hearing my own stuff read - which it hasn't been - but thats ok! I like being under the radar - part of me craves the attention but I need to put that little attention seeker to bed and be happy with the attention I give myself with the self care that I am attempting to do - it is another chore on my list every day - but its supposed to make things better - so I will hope - and I will stick to it - I am looking forward to crying through pilates tomorrow - as strange as that sounds

Thank you for all of your input on this forum by the way
Just another messed up chick, who hates her body and face, and voice, and thinks she is useless and her stuff isn't that bad and she should get over it.
-Sarah St. Lunatic
E is for Elephant
Posts: 71
Joined: April 1st, 2015, 7:24 pm
Gender: female
Issues: anxiety, depression
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Brooklyn, NY

Re: elephant shit

Post by E is for Elephant »

Thank you so much. It means a lot to me to hear that. I spend so much of my time doubting my own thoughts and feelings.
E is for Elephant
Posts: 71
Joined: April 1st, 2015, 7:24 pm
Gender: female
Issues: anxiety, depression
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Brooklyn, NY

Re: elephant shit

Post by E is for Elephant »

Oh my god. I just submitted an email to Paul and I hate myself so much right now. Fuck. I'm pathetic. And pathetic for feeling pathetic and that way lies complete madness.
E is for Elephant
Posts: 71
Joined: April 1st, 2015, 7:24 pm
Gender: female
Issues: anxiety, depression
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Brooklyn, NY

Re: elephant shit

Post by E is for Elephant »

get out of your head

get out of your head

get out of your head

get out of your head

get out of your head

get out of your head

get out of your head

get out of your head

get out of your head

get out of your head

get out of your head
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Beany Boo
Posts: 2565
Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
preferred pronoun: He/him

Re: elephant shit

Post by Beany Boo »

E :)

Good morning

You're punishing yourself for inviting rejection, when you could have just stayed invisible.

Whichever way it goes, breathe into your body, pay attention to what you notice. If you discover anything, you might punish yourself less next time.
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
E is for Elephant
Posts: 71
Joined: April 1st, 2015, 7:24 pm
Gender: female
Issues: anxiety, depression
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Brooklyn, NY

Re: elephant shit

Post by E is for Elephant »

Huh. Now that I think about it, most of my anxiety is related to a fear of rejection: socially, romantically, career-wise, etc. I've never really thought about that before, but if I were doing a fear-off, rejection would be at the top of my list. You've given me something to think about. Thank you.
E is for Elephant
Posts: 71
Joined: April 1st, 2015, 7:24 pm
Gender: female
Issues: anxiety, depression
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Brooklyn, NY

Re: elephant shit

Post by E is for Elephant »

Nothing makes me sadder than him making me happy. I can't just accept the good stuff that we do have. I always want more than he's capable of giving me. It's not fair to him, and it's killing me.
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Beany Boo
Posts: 2565
Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
preferred pronoun: He/him

Re: elephant shit

Post by Beany Boo »

E,

Good morning

It's not his fault. It's not your fault. You don't need to fix it. You're not doing anything wrong. You just need to see if as two people together you can sort it out for each other. If you do, wow. If you can do it again the next time, that's a relationship.
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
E is for Elephant
Posts: 71
Joined: April 1st, 2015, 7:24 pm
Gender: female
Issues: anxiety, depression
preferred pronoun: she
Location: Brooklyn, NY

Re: elephant shit

Post by E is for Elephant »

I just found out that my 14-year-old brother has a degenerative eye condition. It is likely that he will become legally blind by the time he is 20. I can't stop crying. I have never felt more helpless.
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