brownblob
- brownblob
- Posts: 827
- Joined: January 22nd, 2016, 4:51 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: depression and anxiety
- preferred pronoun: whatshisname
Re: brownblob
My life is not that bad. I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. I just need to be an adult. I had a birthday and I need to make the next year better than the last.
I don't like people much and they don't much like me. -A Beautiful Mind
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"
- Imissmysun
- Posts: 282
- Joined: June 29th, 2016, 5:44 am
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Anxiety, Depression, past trauma healing,
- preferred pronoun: she
- Location: Central New York
Re: brownblob
Shoot Brownie!
Feel what you feel - I know I know but the stuff isn't that bad it could be worse - so what? thats not how you feel - you feel like you are missing something emotionally and viscerally and you are - because the depression took it - and it is a battle to get it back -
sure on the outside your life is a dream - good job, good family, whatever whaever - that doesn't matter - your feelings matter - how you perceive your life matters - what makes you happy matters - self care - not self beratement -
little steps my brownblob friend - seriously - recovery is about moments - hey I looked in the mirror today and was only half repulsed with myself - awesome sauce -
my new mantra as I have been going to the gym every day is I'm not as fat today as I was yesterday - I can't think any further positive than that at the moment - but its more positive than digging my grave because I haven't lost 5 million pounds already -
Self care - self kindness - keep trying - you are heard
Feel what you feel - I know I know but the stuff isn't that bad it could be worse - so what? thats not how you feel - you feel like you are missing something emotionally and viscerally and you are - because the depression took it - and it is a battle to get it back -
sure on the outside your life is a dream - good job, good family, whatever whaever - that doesn't matter - your feelings matter - how you perceive your life matters - what makes you happy matters - self care - not self beratement -
little steps my brownblob friend - seriously - recovery is about moments - hey I looked in the mirror today and was only half repulsed with myself - awesome sauce -
my new mantra as I have been going to the gym every day is I'm not as fat today as I was yesterday - I can't think any further positive than that at the moment - but its more positive than digging my grave because I haven't lost 5 million pounds already -
Self care - self kindness - keep trying - you are heard
Just another messed up chick, who hates her body and face, and voice, and thinks she is useless and her stuff isn't that bad and she should get over it.
-Sarah St. Lunatic
-Sarah St. Lunatic
-
- Posts: 197
- Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:01 pm
- Gender: Lady
- Issues: Depression. Anxiety. Agoraphobia. Possible ASD.
- preferred pronoun: Lady
Re: brownblob
Happy Belated Birthday brownblob! Sounds to me like the feelings you "shouldn't" be feeling might be trying to tell you something about yourself or your situation? Wishing you the best!
I am acceptable; you are acceptable.
- brownblob
- Posts: 827
- Joined: January 22nd, 2016, 4:51 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: depression and anxiety
- preferred pronoun: whatshisname
Re: brownblob
I am an intelligent guy. When I was younger I tried going to college while living at home and working a minimum wage job. I was also a deeply depressed crazy boy. I ended up making multiple suicide attempts and getting committed for 90 days before finding a med that helped. I had to come to grips with the fact that I have limits of what I am capable of and that college wouldn't happen for me. So Anyway, I've worked crappy jobs but I was proud of it because I knew where I had been, so to me working a crappy job was an accomplishment. The job I work now I don't think is that bad of a job, but people I work with talk like it is. I'm basically embarrassed to tell people where I've worked in the past. Family members will bad mouth the places I've worked not realizing it feels like they are bad mouthing me. I just want to scream"I'm doing the best I can with what I've got"
I'm proud to be a productive member of society despite being mentally ill.
I'm proud to be a productive member of society despite being mentally ill.
I don't like people much and they don't much like me. -A Beautiful Mind
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"
- Beany Boo
- Posts: 2565
- Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
- Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
- Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
- preferred pronoun: He/him
Re: brownblob
Okay brownblob,
You got me
If I wasn't on the bus, I'd be crying right now.
Me too. I'm proud too.
You got me
If I wasn't on the bus, I'd be crying right now.
Me too. I'm proud too.
Mr (blue) B. Boo
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
- Imissmysun
- Posts: 282
- Joined: June 29th, 2016, 5:44 am
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Anxiety, Depression, past trauma healing,
- preferred pronoun: she
- Location: Central New York
Re: brownblob
Hi Brownie!
I want you to read your very first post and you very most recent post -
Just watching you work through your feelings and emotions here I see that there are bursts of something - some momentum of seeing yourself in a better light - it is really inspiring -
You have been able to walk through these thoughts and come up with a feeling of pride for yourself and the idea of it - that process you have comethrough that brings me happy tears - I love that -
This is part of recovery lots of little moments where you can see your little bits of humanity -
YOU are awesome!
Thank you for all of your sharing!
I want you to read your very first post and you very most recent post -
Just watching you work through your feelings and emotions here I see that there are bursts of something - some momentum of seeing yourself in a better light - it is really inspiring -
You have been able to walk through these thoughts and come up with a feeling of pride for yourself and the idea of it - that process you have comethrough that brings me happy tears - I love that -
This is part of recovery lots of little moments where you can see your little bits of humanity -
YOU are awesome!
Thank you for all of your sharing!
Just another messed up chick, who hates her body and face, and voice, and thinks she is useless and her stuff isn't that bad and she should get over it.
-Sarah St. Lunatic
-Sarah St. Lunatic
- brownblob
- Posts: 827
- Joined: January 22nd, 2016, 4:51 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: depression and anxiety
- preferred pronoun: whatshisname
Re: brownblob
I have a psychiatrist appointment this afternoon. I'm feeling really down and alone today. I picked blackberries this morning and they're overgrown with weeds and the berries are overripe because I haven't been picking them. Just seemed symbolic of the way I've been doing this year. I don't have the energy to take care of things so I just let them go. I'm frustrated that I can't find a med that helps. Just feeling really low today.
I don't like people much and they don't much like me. -A Beautiful Mind
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"
- Imissmysun
- Posts: 282
- Joined: June 29th, 2016, 5:44 am
- Gender: Female
- Issues: Anxiety, Depression, past trauma healing,
- preferred pronoun: she
- Location: Central New York
Re: brownblob
Hi Brownie I think that is in the air - I don't know if its the new month or just a string of fear on my part - but I am also just feeling off and yuck - but I have therapy tonight so I can vomit up my concern - I think it is some of the memories that are popping up - they always make me off...
I hope you find something that helps - I really do - because I get how this endless cycle of crud thoughts is exhausting
*Hug*
I hope you find something that helps - I really do - because I get how this endless cycle of crud thoughts is exhausting
*Hug*
Just another messed up chick, who hates her body and face, and voice, and thinks she is useless and her stuff isn't that bad and she should get over it.
-Sarah St. Lunatic
-Sarah St. Lunatic
- Beany Boo
- Posts: 2565
- Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
- Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
- Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
- preferred pronoun: He/him
Re: brownblob
brownblob,
Good morning
How are you feeling today?
Good morning
How are you feeling today?
Mr (blue) B. Boo
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan
‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb
‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
- brownblob
- Posts: 827
- Joined: January 22nd, 2016, 4:51 pm
- Gender: male
- Issues: depression and anxiety
- preferred pronoun: whatshisname
Re: brownblob
Been feeling really low this week.
I don't like people much and they don't much like me. -A Beautiful Mind
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"
I'm Homesick for a home I never had.--Soul Asylum "Homesick"