New here- hoping to find some support

[silverstein23]

Hi all- I am new to listening to this podcast and new to this forum. I suffer from bipolar disorder and am still working through an eating disorder (no doubt related.) I grew up in an abusive household, and even after physically separating myself from it all, I deal with a controlling mother and needy sister. My sexual abuser recently passed away, and although I wish I felt relief, I only feel anxiety that there are things I never said and now never will. I struggle with keeping myself in the present moment, especially when I am having a down day or manic episode. I utilize therapy, yoga, meditation, other forms of exercise, books, mood tracker (recently,) podcasts, forums- most things you can think of. I truly do feel like I am gaining more control of my situation and illness, but it is hard to keep up daily. I am hopeful to find another helpful community here

[oak]

Thanks for posting!

[Imissmysun]

Hi welcome!

You are doing really good things for yourself and the mind likes to wander when there is discomfort - that is normal - my brain gets up and leaves me all the time - though not as bad as when I was little - I used to just completely block out everything - sound sights - just delve totally inward - now its more of a disengage and space out - I am still mostly aware of background it just isnt the focus and I am not engagning it or present with it - and it sucks because that is generally the chaos of my kids - and I am woking on that Allbeit it slowly - and I suck at being present - but I agree yoga and meditation are great tools (except I sometimes cry when I meditate I know thats weird but I do I think its just bad stuff leaving and getting out of me)

Anyway! Nice to have you here!

[silverstein23]

Thank you both for the kind words.

Imissmysun- thank you so much for responding. I know how hard it is when the mind wanders, how hard it can be to become present- and working with yourself while taking care of your children must be so difficult- you are so brave and strong for working on all of this and being the parent you are! You truly are an inspiration. Also, I cry after and during meditations and yoga sometimes- I feel such great relief when I do. I don't force it, but when those tears come it means to me that I needed that relief.

I know you are going to be successful in your endeavors- you have already overcome so much! Good luck on your journey, and remember YOU CAN DO THIS and you are not alone

[Imissmysun]

Aww Sweet Silver!!!

Thank you that is so sweet of you, I have happy cry face right now!

I think you are an insiration as well - I love hearing good recovery storues and about people finally getting the help they need and to hear success at self love and just getting through the daily struggle - and it is a climb up a hill every day -

But I think those of us that feel as strongly as we do are needed in the world - to be compassionate to see from the underbelly of darkness and note the light that is there in the center just peeking through -

To experience and say I still breath - I still walk - I am here and now I can help

Your words are like breath I didn't know I forgot to take - thank you!!!