Fear of dying

[Jvoltmann]

So I have pretty bad anxiety and it comes and goes or maybe I just try and block it out. I try talking to my friend and husband about it but they don't understand...I was just wondering if anyone else felt this way I have a fear of dieing like I constantly think Iam going to die if I go to sleep I won't wake up or I have a brain tumor of cancer no matter what I just fear Iam going to die. Idk how to deal with it or if anyone else has this.

[Beany Boo]

Yes I've had similar and it is truly horrible; flashes of abject terror that you are dead for a very long time, then scrambling backwards on all fours in your mind trying to get as far from the thought, and the visceral sensation, as quickly as possible. And also, just feeling it involuntarily on a too regular basis.

The good news is I've come out of it. It's related to your blocking behaviour; you block the anxiety (or possibly grief) and it redoubles its force. You won't like my solution. As impossible as it sounds, feeling that feeling, stopping blocking it, is the only way. I don't mean learn to live with. To alleviate it requires giving it oxygen and minutes. I got professional help so that I got through it quicker and more effectively but I don't block it anymore; I don't need to.

[Jvoltmann]

Thanks! I wish I could block it it's like a OCD in my head it won't stop! Just that fear or dieing is there all the time lately no matter what even if I feel fine then all of a sudden it pops in my head like this haunting tell me your going to die! So frustrating. I just want it to go away

[oak]

Agreed with the always-amazing Beany Boo!

Yes, it is chilling to realize each of us is going to die. I mean, it just really sucks. It sucks so much.

I think Beany Boo says it all with "abject terror".

While I am not trying to equivocate or mitigate, let me offer you this:

I've only thought I was about to die once, as I was experiencing a car wreck. Time slowed down, and I had time to think "So _this_ is how I am going to die".

A sense of finding out something fairly interesting, rather than fear.

In generally, I think dying can really suck, but I think death will be okay.

Setting aside religion and all that: just focusing on the biological facts: each of us lives, experiences dying, and then (biologically) that's it. We return to the earth.

But the whole situation still sucks: I heard someone say once that we are the only species that is aware of our own inevitable and unavoidable personal annihilation.

Sorry if this makes you feel worse. Death just sucks.

[Beany Boo]

I can give you some clues:

There's a difference between fear of physically dying and what's called anihilation anxiety. Anihilation anxiety is where your mind is struggling to find the resources to manage grief, trauma or else, some extreme emotional challenge in your present, and failing. It's not physical death but your mind might reach for cancer, or car accidents to try and come to simple terms with this anxiety type.

Breathing disciplines like yoga, meditation, tai chi or mindfulness techniques are definitely effective in the mid term, as is regular aerobic exercise and sleep.

Regular spikes in pressure can randomly trigger it; dropping you through a hole into an irrational level of fear. But all indicators to the contrary, you do and can come out of it, even if external pressures or hard decisions you have to make keep coming.

And minds adapt - whether you're in control of it or otherwise - and learn, and you just become very sensitive to the strange causes of your own peculiar overwhelm. You can actually grow mentally and become able to carry on your life; with highly customised coping skills; skills around expressing extreme, profound or previously forbidden emotions in a way that is remedial to your body and mind.

Anihilation anxiety - rather than fear of physical death - is, for me now, a cluster of fears around choosing to live through adversity; for example:

• - If I choose to really live a life I actually want, do I deserve it or once I've finally tasted it, will it be taken from me?
  - Do all my decisions relentlessly require me to consider others or can I make the most vital ones just for myself alone?
  - Is anyone ever going to see or hear me as I do myself?
  - In the face of an insurmountable challenge can I really rise to meet the challenge or will I be terminally stuck?
  - Am I really ready for success when it comes? Will I even recognise it? Will it truly belong to me?

[Jvoltmann]

Omg thank you! I feel like u hit the nail on the head that's exactly how I feel and that described exactly how I feel! Now to figure out how to deal and overcome it. Thanks again hope your going good today!

[alex8525]

I have a strange anxiety with this too, like i focus a lot of small sensations or discomforts with my body and my mind blows it out of proportion, like if I have pain somewhere I wonder if it could be a sign of something horrible. I don't seek medical attention because I kinda know maybe I'm just being stupid but it always escalates to this fear of death - but not just a fear, it's almost as if my mind goes to this place where I feel like I know I'm going to die. I know it sounds strange perhaps but for a few days, my perspective on life always changes like, these next few weeks may be my last. But then all that goes away and I feel back to normal again and on't even think about death anymore. It's like I go through periods of obsessing and then it just disappears on its own.

[snoringdog]

Bringing this back to the top. Been waking up at 3 am a few nights recently with a feeling of dread. Existential sort of thing. There's the intellectual knowing and there's the gripping feeling. Think it relates to things undone, or anxieties. Passes by morning.

I've also heard that feelings of dread accompany menopause. (I'm male BTW, so that doesn't apply)

Night time magnifies things. I've found that sometimes turning on a light and writing things down unburdens me.

[manuel_moe_g]

A lot of wisdom in your post, snoringdog

Please take care, all the best

[brownblob]

I don't have the fear of dying, but I do have anxiety at night or find myself ruminating on things. I end up going to sleep with a TV, music or a podcast on just to distract my brain.