I'm getting help: underearning.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hard work is of course great, but I want to be savvy about my hard work.

The best part about this is that you are internalizing the effort, but not taking random external events to internalize negative-self-worth. Everyone who reads this whole thread knows you have considerable worth as a person, and so much to give. I am so glad you still keep trying, and that you are getting better at being self-loving.

[oak]

Update!

Nearly two years later I am still underearning, but I have a little more wiggle room. Above all I have stability. But all this is beyond the scope of my original post.

I do have some perspective, and also a bit of a jaundiced view of how much blame is mine. But, there is plenty of blame to go around.

Here is a review of which tools actually helped. (All were fine ideas. None were bad.)

Spoiler: I got a temp job six weeks later from the original post. Six long weeks. But those six weeks helped me become who I am today.

Tools and their effectiveness:

1. Parents. They were helpful. Really great.Two siblings also went out of their way to help, and my other sibling, while not unkind, didn't lift a finger to help me.

2. Walk to apply for jobs. Since my car was broken (I still vividly remember it sitting there, inert), I had the ability to walk a mile or two to apply to local businesses, but none of them were interested in me.

3. Smartphone. The digital divide is very real, and growing. Other than food, staying on the right side of this divide is a basic priority for me. It did help in my job search, even though I think it got turned off.

4. Underearners Anonymous phone meetings. Sadly these were pretty traumatic. I love Debtors Anonymous in person meetings! So much love. DA and UA phone meetings were a nightmare of pushy people talking over each other. These phone meetings were something to do, but of little help.

5. Job search books. This is actually how I got my job. In "Parachute" Mr. Bolles states that there are 18 ways to find a job, and to keep trying two or three new ways each week until you get results.

6. Notecards. These were fine, particularly as a way to spur me to action: if I got sad/discouraged, I would read these notecards that had specific actions I could take.

7. My inner qualities. This also helped. Being unemployed revealed who I am, both the good and bad.

8. Help from this forum! Absolutely! You all were great. Thank you.

9. God. Nothing there. It seemed so important at the time.

Nuanced view of underearning:

In the last two years I've grown to a more nuanced view of underearning.

From about 2004 t0 2008 I was wholly responsible for my underearning. I was an ineffective employee, and got what I deserved.

Between 2008 and 2009 I became a man on fire. Fired for cause early in 2008, by the end of 2009 I had learned those hard lessons and was by all accounts a good to excellent employee.

I've also found out that many employers (but not all) are more interested in nickel and diming than paying me a living wage. I've agreed to a number of low wages (for reasons of my own), but at least one has cheated me out of wages.

I could sit here, right now, and rail against the immorality of not paying a living wage.

Doing so won't get me a higher wage, so in the last two years I have focused on increasing my skill set to appeal to employers who will pay me a living wage. That day will come.

In summary

I did get help for underearning, particularly from friends and family. I got excellent help from the job search books. Particularly those by Richard Bolles, Donald Asher, Steven Dalton, and Tony Beshara.

"If you are looking for a helping hand, look at the end of your arm."

Ultimately that is what got me out: me. The helpful family, kind employers, and job search books were there all along. It took me finding the fight within me to make it effective.

[manuel_moe_g]

I admire you, oak. You are the Real Deal. All the best to you.

[oak]

Thanks Manuel Moe! That means alot. I send respect and brotherly regard to you.

[justsomeoneinacorner]

It took me finding the fight within me to make it effective.

this is what I need to do. I could use some good vibes sent my way.

[oak]

3.5 years ago I posted this. I did get help (mostly from myself), I am no longer underearning (though I am not middle class), and I have a good understanding of how I got out that mess (and into a higher quality of messes).

I still remember my car sitting there, inert. Nowadays, with my life savings in the low three figures (really), I would simply replace the battery. Life is easier now.

While the wonderful Debtors Anonymous proved of little value this time around, specifically the awful "phone meetings", what proved successful (see below) was me getting on to my feet and getting in front of people who could hire me.

Before I get to what I'll do next time I'm unemployed, two things:

1. The title of this thread was correct, so far as it went: I was underearning. Mostly due to (being objective) my laziness (I spent lots of time in public libraries rather than teaching myself skills and applying for jobs) and the 2008 meltdown. Life kicked my butt, and I have many plans now to never return to that existence.

2. Before I got sober I got fired (not for drinking, per se, because they already had reason enough to fire me: said laziness) in early 2008. Here is how I got each paying job since then, and how long that job lasted:

(2008) Job opportunity from heretofore forgotten/ignored listserv from graduate school. (This job saved me from homelessness.) (9 months, completed academic year contract and declined second year offer, since the job was so terrible)

(2009) My friend drove me to talk with hiring manager at a retail job she recently quit. He got fired several days later. (2.5 years, ending in 2012. Though I got fired for that 2008 job for plenty of cause, this firing was very dubious, but by then I learned just to go quietly when about to get fired, and let karma do its thing, which it ended up doing to the people who fired me.)

(Late 2012) Online posting, probably. This job was terrible. (2 months. I also got fired for extremely dubious reasons, but at this point it was almost funny.)

(Early 2013) Flyer for temporary overnight job moving shelving in a store (a reset). This job really sucked, but I worked with some nice people and more importantly started to get a clue: with my minimum wage earnings, I:

* Got my teeth cleaned for the first time in a decade at the local community college ($15!). A great choice.

* Got new lenses and modern frames, also after ten years of the same glasses that of course were taped together, at this place that sells an exam and 2 pairs of glasses for under $100.

* I got a super basic prepaid smartphone. It was great.

These were great choices, as they prepared me to look presentable long enough to get hired as a temp a few months later. Those few months in the meantime (spring to late summer) were very difficult, including the time my car battery died, but I ended up getting into "the system" of a large local employer. Earning a reputation of someone who completed the tasks assigned to him, I had several happy temp assignments before being offered a permanent position at one of the sites.

[oak]

FWIW: Next time I am unemployed, this is what I'll do:

60% of my time on increasing skills employers find valuable: Specifically code, bookkeeping, and languages (ie Spanish and Chinese).

30%: Getting in front of people who can hire me. Nowadays this often means a temp position.

10%: Applying for jobs online. While tempting and easy, this is at best an necessary evil, and in practice a complete waste of time.

[brownblob]

Glad to hear things are going well and good advice as always. But in my negative brain all I hear is my brain calling me lazy. I don't like my job, but I know if I was ever unemployed I probably wouldn't survive it.

[verne]

This was a great thread to read - good tips and book recommendations, and inspiring. I'm going to be shifting from self-employment to gainful employment in the next year, so need all the tips I can get.

[oak]

Go for it, verne!

What I learned, most of all:

1. Get around successful people.

2. Get closer to the money.

Example 1: in the nice suburbs (ie less money) no one would look at me. In the established, huge-endowed institutions in the crappy city have all sorts of jobs.

Example 2: There is more money (read: jobs) in science and healthcare than art or music. Neither is better, but one has better odds.

One final bit of silly advice that has really helped me:

Go outside and find a burr. Put it in your front pocket and if you are sitting down too long it will start to hurt. Ergo, get out of the seat, onto your feet, and out of the house. All sorts of good things happen outside.

Good luck! Keep us posted.