Alone

[rivergirl]

My depression has been particularly bad since yesterday morning, and I feel intensely alone. I feel like I am a deeply flawed person to get to this point in my life where I can't overcome my depression and have allowed myself to become as alone as I am. The physical illness that I have seems like a manifestation of those deep flaws in my character.

[brownblob]

I'm a similarly flawed person. Depression makes for a horrible companion. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I have none to offer. Just know the world is full of flawed people and you are not alone.

[Beany Boo]

I accept you. I don't expect you to overcome depression, physical illness or the depth of your flaws. I accept you as you are and feel happy relief to just hold a space for you today. Rest easy.

[rivergirl]

Brownblob and Beany, I'm grateful for your replies.

At least for this moment, I feel accepted and less alone.

[oak]

I am sorry you are struggling! I am glad you are using your words.

Thanks for sharing. You're not alone.

[HowDidIGetHere]

If there's one thing that you can be absolutely sure of, it's that there's someone else in the world who knows exactly what you're going through and can vouch for the fact that it's survivable. If you need me to be that guy today, I'm here to tell you that it's true.

[rivergirl]

Thanks so much, guys.

Oak, thank you for listening over the past few years that I've been posting to this forum.

HowDidIGetHere, I'm touched that you took the time to reply given all you're dealing with in your life.

I seem to do better during the work week, but then the last few weekends have been knocking me for a loop. I have a couple of long weekends ahead. I'm cautiously optimistic that I can get through them a bit more productively and without my mood getting so very low.

I'm grateful for being heard and for the kind words.

[Not A Cylon]

What is it about the weekends that make it more difficult? Is it the lack of structure and just being left to your own devices?

[rivergirl]

Maybe it's the structure of the work week and that at least part of the time when I'm at work I'm interacting with coworkers. On weekends I'm often doing errands and interacting with people in ways that feel more anonymous, or at home with my elderly parent who is now at the point where she can't leave the house much. I know that I need to take more steps to be less alone, but am having trouble figuring out what direction to go at this point.

Thank you for asking, Not a Cylon. Do you ever find certain days in the week harder than others?

[Shahronak]

Expectation leads to loneliness. Loneliness can also be attributed to internal factors such as low self-esteem. Loneliness can make you worse. Social isolation is both a cause and an effect of mental distress. When the person isolates more, they face more mental distress. Feeling lonely and isolating yourself from the world can lead to anxiety. One can deal with loneliness in a healthy way. Realize that loneliness is a feeling, not a fact.