Longtime listener, first time poster.

[EmptyPinata]

Hi. I'm Jeff. I'm in my early 30's and from New England. I've struggled with depression since my tweens. My childhood was fine, so I relate to those people that are depressed, but feel bad because there is no one event that it seems to stem from. I also deal with social anxiety, but have gotten better on that front. Self-image and weight is another big issue for me. I'm also lonely most of the time. I feel like I am on a different plane of existence than everyone else and can't connect with people. The best way I can describe how I feel most of the time is that I've done something wrong and that everyone hates me, even when I know intellectually that that is not case. The past 3 years or so my mom has been battling cancer and a year after she was diagnosed my younger brother passed away. I've been mediating with Headspace and that has seem to help me better manager the negative voices in my head, but wonder if I should possibly get on meds or do therapy. I've been thinking of trying Better Help or Talkspace because my work schedule currently makes it hard to schedule appointments. That about sums it up for now.

[oak]

Welcome, Jeff.

I am glad to hear you are taking action! Well done.

I hope your mother gets well, and I am sorry for the loss of your brother.

I identified very much with what you wrote about being lonely. I certainly identify.

Thanks for posting.

[_mlmlmlm_]

Hello there! Thanks for introducing yourself.

Sometimes it's so hard to be okay with the fact that we can understand things intellectually, but that doesn't mean our emotions/actions reflect our understanding. Just know that many of us feel this as well.

[Beany Boo]

Jeff, welcome.

[EmptyPinata]

@oak: Thanks. I started mediating because I volunteered for a team at work that would get me out of my comfort zone and it was a way to curb the added stress I figured would come my way. It involved presenting so I read several books on public speaking. I had signed up for a 6 week improv class, but there was not enough interest and it got canceled. This is my mom's fourth type of chemo they've tried - unless there is some kind of miracle, my mom will be on chemo for the rest of her life.

@_mimimim_: Thanks. I think the podcast has helped me with that. Wondering if therapy would help me even more.

@Beany Boo: Thank you.