fear off

[hopechestheart]

i fear not being heard

i fear my dogs dont know how much i love them and how much they help me every day to feel loved

i fear my husband dying and being alone in my grief that i will want to kill myself

i fear being manipulated and not recognizing it

i fear i will always be somewhat depressed

i fear being truly joyful

i fear trusting the wrong people

i fear not being really seen for who i am before i die .. not being remembered is ok .. but not being known right now terrifies me

i fear others believing lies about me instead of the truth

i fear others accepting abuse out of convenience

i fear this world will never heal and what that would mean for life in general

i fear i will never make a long term friend

i fear i will always be the cause of friendships ending because of my trauma

i fear other peoples anger

i fear other peoples power

i fear that i will always be a weak person

i fear having absolutely no support in my life

i fear that my mom will always be who she is and never be able to truly see all the pain that she carries or mine (i miss feeling close to her even though it wasnt really real)

i fear that i am not actually getting better but always living on the edge of a breakdown or crisis or deep debilitating depression

i fear going anywhere alone

i fear being attacked

i fear not being strong enough to handle this world even though i am an adult .. that in this way i will always feel like a child..

i fear that my husband is only with me because i am helpful or that its just convenient and makes his life less lonely

[Snotrag]

I see you and I hear you and you are not alone.

Sister, that you are fearful of these things makes me hopeful for our collective future. We need people like you. We need thoughtful and sensitive souls to help raise the children of our world as kind and thoughtful beings. We need you to be beacons of kindness and hope for us all. Not everyone is as sensitive and as feeling as you are. We need more of that in the world today. Yes, the world is harsh and difficult to navigate. Yes, those of us who are sensitive and caring can get our butts kicked. But please do not for one second believe that we do not desperately need you. The world needs kindness and compassion. The world needs you to teach your children and husband your kindness. We all need to see that kindness and compassion and caring exist and is a good thing. To bravo you! Bravo for being raw and real. Rock on sistah!

[hopechestheart]

my deepest heartfelt gratitude..hugs from across the void... the world definitely needs your beautiful voice too..