Wisdom teeth: facing facts and taking action.

[brownblob]

Sounds like you're taking care of yourself. Awesome.

[oak]

Thanks brownblob!

I actually have more pain, two days in. I also realize that painkillers are a mixed blessing. I appreciate them, but don't like the fogginess.

[oak]

I am six days in, and am doing okay.

While the pain has been manageable, the annoyance and disrupt caused by getting these teeth out make me wonder if it was worth it. Were I to do it over again I'd certainly get a second opinion before getting it done.

I've been following the instructions to the letter, and generally feel okay.

I feel very grown up having faced this before it got bad, but I wondering if it is worth it.

[Namu]

oak,

I’m glad to hear that the pain hasn’t been too bad, and that you’re managing the inconvenience and disruption.

I still think you made a good decision, certainly the one that was the best match for your priorities and for the values and the quality of self-care you're building into your life. We never have all the information when making decisions (this drives me nuts — how can I make a good decision when I don’t have all the information?!); all we can do is gather as much information as we can (given constraints of time, energy, and imperfect information sources); set that information next to the goals we have in mind; and take our best shot.

Second-guessing after the fact isn’t usually very productive, and it seems to me that carrying on the good work of self-care means that part of your job now is to leave done deals in the past. There's no harm in noticing unanticipated consequences, and filing those away for future reference, but they ought to inspire compassion for yourself, not vague and undermining self-talk. Imagine if you did this courageous, unfamiliar, practical, reasonable piece of self-care — getting your wisdom teeth out calmly, independently, and economically, while you have insurance and while you have time and attention to make that decision and have the surgery — and one of us here on the forum, after being encouraging while you were making your decision, started taking shots at you: “Well, you did what you set out to do, and I suppose maybe there was some benefit to it, but are you really sure you shouldn’t have made a different decision?” That wouldn’t be kind or helpful. I can't see any purpose to that except sabotage.

Don’t sabotage yourself. You're doing really well. Keep it up!

Namu

[oak]

Namu, I heard there is a word for the experience your post gave me: satori.

Your truth hit me viscerally: right in the gut. I was winded by the force of your truth. Thank you. Thank you, my friend.

I think this is really not about teeth: I'm going for a follow up appointment tomorrow (I used my words!), and he'll sort it out from a technical standpoint. If he doesn't, I'll get a second opinion.

Thank you, Namu, for the analogy of this forum: I'd never second-guess someone else here; I hope I'd celebrate their agency. Yet why was I doing it to myself? Very interesting, and profound. I appreciate your insight!

[Namu]

oak,

:-}

Namu

[oak]

I am intentionally using my words here in this post, because I don't want to, and because I know I need to.

I used my words to set up an appointment with the oral surgeon and to request time off. He took a careful look and declared me well on my way.

I regret getting this done, but not for the pain, which I found both bearable and manageable.

I regret it partly for the inconvenience, but if I am going to be honest with myself, is that I don't like who this experience has made me. My mind isn't sharp. I am dull. I mean that in every sense of the word "dull".

This experience does want me to pick myself up and do better in life. Particularly because I am lonely, and see a lonely future ahead.

This experience has turned me into someone else. I'll probably bounce back, but it is dispiriting to see who I've become.

[oak]

In general, I am doing better. This experience certainly has taken something out of me.

It has been two weeks and one day.

The good: I am eating just about anything. The right side of my mouth feels fine. I've improved my dental habits.

The bad: There is still pain on the left side; not the hole/wound itself, but the teeth adjacent to it. I am still taking 800 mg of ibuprophen a day, which is more than I'd want to be taking, and for much longer.

This is really hard for me to say, so here goes:

I've decided to use my words: if this isn't better by Friday, I will make another appointment with the oral surgeon.

I am also going to get a second opinion. Goodness, is that hard to say. But it is not like I really owe my oral surgeon anything.

In fact, feeling bold by typing here, I'm going to call tomorrow to set up an appointment for a second opinion! Yeah!

This will be with my old dentist.

By chance I have an unrelated appointment at the periodontist on Friday.

Thank you for listening. This forum helps me so much. I really don't have anywhere else to go.

[Namu]

oak,

I’m so sad to hear that this act of self-care — getting the teeth out — has led to so much suffering. That's gotta be horribly confusing! I think most people have a much easier time of it when getting wisdom teeth out; I think you just drew the short straw. I am glad to hear you've decided to call in another source of expertise; it sounds like you're in one of those tricky situations where the trouble isn’t overt enough for anyone else to know, and to say, that enough is enough. Sometimes we have to reach that verdict on our own authority, and that's what you did. Well done!

Well done notwithstanding, I still hate it that this has turned into such an ordeal for you.

I’m glad your second opinion will be with a familiar dentist. The coincidental periodontal appt might shed some light as well.

Way to use those words! They're essential for use with others, but sometimes — as when you decided mid-post to call tomorrow to enlist the second opinion — they're a good tool for figuring out what needs are pressing, and what next step to take.

This ordeal will end! It may feel like this is your new normal, but it will resolve and recede, probably soon, and then (oh joy!) you can get back to sorting out the more familiar challenges, like managing family and work relationships. ; -}

Keep up the good work. I think you're being very brave, to stay calm and rational enough, in distressing, confusing, and lonely circumstances, to keep making decisions and finding your way.

I'll be sending good wishes your way. I hope you soon get some accurate and clarifying answers, and prompt and effective relief.

Namu

[oak]

Namu!

I am moved by your kind words. Believe it or not, I borrowed strength from you today: I re-read your post and chanted your screen name to psyche myself up to make difficult calls.

Making good on my promise, I called my old dentist to make an appointment for a second opinion. The front desk person, after asking for and hearing my symptoms, replied "It sounds like a tooth infection."

In that moment I knew I had something to work with. I had a name, an idea for my situation, instead of just vague "pain". I made an appointment for Saturday morning. I immediately (inspired by rivergirl who immediately called the second crisis line) asked my supervisor to be excused at any point, with little fanfare, should this situation get worse. She kindly agreed, and now I have a new plan: I am not so afraid of the pain (manageable), I am eager to see a dentist sooner than later because I understand a tooth infection can easily spread to the jaw or heaven forbid the brain (because, I love Internet Horror Stories). I intend to get in ASAP with either my oral surgeon, new dentist, or old dentist. Failing all that, I can either hope to wait til Saturday morning (not quite 72 hours), or if things get bad go to the urgent care or emergency room. I am comforted knowing that I have a plan, even if things go bad. Especially if they go bad.

I also used my words later this evening, with my physical therapist (who is a doctor, but not an MD). He took a look, kindly, and confirmed my plan to keep an eye on my temperature, and to keep an open mind about the hospital.

After speaking so honestly and directly with him, I actually felt like myself for the first time since getting these teeth out. The pretty blond at the grocery store was flirty with me! No one had noticed my sick self for 2+ weeks. It is really good to use my words.

Lastly, if this pain for the last week turns out to be an abscess (and not from the wisdom tooth extraction directly), then I certainly would re-evaluate my wisdom tooth experience: I would probably do it again, since it was more of an annoyance than painful or a trauma. I mean, it has been a waste of my time, but if I had to get my other two wisdom teeth out I wouldn't exactly look forward to it, but it wouldn't scare me.

In summary: I am happier when I use my words, advocate for myself, and take action.

Thanks for listening my dear friends!

I'll update in the next day or two if things either greatly improve or greatly deteriorate.