Ten years, two months, and twenty two days.
I hope shame had fun shaming me for not having a relationship, because those days are over.
(I like to imagine "shame" as a monster, or evil person, tormenting me for years, obsessively following me around. Now I hope its karmic, playful punishment is having to observe me happy, enjoying the small moments of life with someone else.)
Ten plus years is a long time to go without a relationship, but once my time did come it has been very natural: while there is some residual anxiety for both of us, it is as natural as can be to invite her on a date, hold her hand, and compliment her. She is kind and thoughtful to me, and praises me. We have a lot of fun.
I am normal and whole.
I am not made normal or whole by being in a relationship: I now realize I was normal and whole all along.
Shame: no gf in nine years.
Re: Shame: no gf in nine years.
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
Re: Shame: no gf in nine years.
(Bump)
This is one of two old threads I've been meaning to update.
I did have a girlfriend for three months. We all agree that we broke up on good terms, and while we don't have a future together I certainly wish her well.
So it took me 10.5 years to get a girlfriend. She hadn't had a boyfriend in ten years. She and I both got constant, varied, and complete rejection in those ten years.
Here's the thing: after being told for a total of twenty years that we weren't enough, we got along great!
What I'm getting at is that she and I were "normal" all along. We were told that we were wrong/off/queer/not enough but once we got together, we found each other perfectly normal.
This gets at my other post: about how I got hired. Spoiler: the person who could do no right found an accepting place.
This is one of two old threads I've been meaning to update.
I did have a girlfriend for three months. We all agree that we broke up on good terms, and while we don't have a future together I certainly wish her well.
So it took me 10.5 years to get a girlfriend. She hadn't had a boyfriend in ten years. She and I both got constant, varied, and complete rejection in those ten years.
Here's the thing: after being told for a total of twenty years that we weren't enough, we got along great!
What I'm getting at is that she and I were "normal" all along. We were told that we were wrong/off/queer/not enough but once we got together, we found each other perfectly normal.
This gets at my other post: about how I got hired. Spoiler: the person who could do no right found an accepting place.
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim