My sister's husband

[rivergirl]

My sister passed away in another state a few months ago. The past couple of weeks her husband has been visiting our hometown where I live and texting that he wants to see me and other family members, but then dropping out of sight again. He's traveling with a friend and we know they're doing quite a bit of drinking and drug use and visiting with old high school friends. He also texted me that he has my sister's ashes and wanted to discuss what to do with them.

This was all a bit of a shock to me. He hasn't been back to this area for many years, and I thought my sister's ashes had already been taken care of. I think maybe having him here with my sister's ashes, even though I haven't seen him, has made her death more real to me and brought up some grief. It also seems to be exacerbating the depression and anxiety that I struggle with. I was okay while at work during this past week, but things got really rough for me today, Sunday.

I've tried doing the positive things I can think of, including going for a walk this evening, but am feeling a lot of loneliness, grief, and anxiety right now.

I'm glad to have a place where I can post this.

rivergirl

[oak]

Hmmm. Nothing here sounds good.

Keep posting. Thanks for sharing.

[rivergirl]

Thank you, Oak. This past weekend was a repeat of the previous one. Texts from my sister's husband to set up meetings with me and our family, and then he doesn't follow through. I keep trying to tell myself that the addict behavior that he's exhibiting right now (partying with old high school friends, making then breaking plans to see me and my family) doesn't have anything to do with me. It isn't my fault, and I shouldn't take it personally.

[brownblob]

You are right it's not your fault. It can be hard at times to see things objectively, but it sounds like you are.

[rivergirl]

Thanks, brownblob. It was painful but I think the uncertainty was the worst and knowing now that we probably won't see him is better. At least I know what to expect.