brownblob

[brownblob]

The junk food thing is new to me. I've always had a soda thing because of caffeine addiction and had finally given them up a couple of years ago. The junk food thing is new to me. I've never eaten that much junk food before and it always was a choice to do it. Lately, it doesn't feel like a choice.

[bigeekgirl]

Compulsive behavior around food is so difficult. Junk food is designed by scientists to hook our pleasure centers. As someone who has over eaten carrots without dressing to the point of intestinal distress, I can't fault someone (even myself) for sometimes hitting up the kind of junk you can get in the check out line.

I try to remind myself how my drive to eat is a product of my ancestors being the ones who stayed alive because they were driven to find food in scarcity.

I won't even attempt going off caffeine. I've moved to black coffee and have always done unsweetened tea. Take those away over my cold, dead body.

[brownblob]

So I work for a poorly run company that makes a lot of money in spite of it. We went several years being understaffed and then they expanded the plant and had to start hiring anybody and throwing them into jobs that they weren't suited for with very little training. After doing this, they were surprised to find things not running very well. They are in a process now of evaluating these people that they gave certain positions in the last 2 years. One that is getting evaluated now is a guy in his late twenties who has some obvious issues with anxiety. He is not well suited for his job. I believe he is going to get fired despite doing nothing wrong. Yesterday, I noticed he had a semicolon tattoo on his wrist. It's a tattoo that suicide attempt survivors get.
I feel so bad for him and powerless to stop it. I feel so cowardly that I don't have any words to say to him.

[bigeekgirl]

You still can say something. A kind word might mean the world to this guy.

Work is hard, isn't it? I don't know how the business world keeps spinning sometimes, you know? I relate all too well.

[oak]

Thanks for sharing, BB.

[brownblob]

I haven't been doing well today. I have been feeling more anxiety lately. I've been having trouble sleeping for awhile. Today, that self destructive voice in my head that I ignore was there. I still ignored it, but I could feel its presence.
Anyway, it's kind of scary because I've been doing okay the last year on the Lamictal and now I fear that the depression may be stirring again.

[oak]

Thank you for sharing, BB. This deserves careful attention. Keep us posted.

[rivergirl]

I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing as well, brownblob. I hope this is just a temporary setback.

Sometimes when I have a low day, I remember the accepting and kind words you've written in reply to my posts, and it helps me get through the day and not feel so alone.
I hope you'll find things to help you get through.

rivergirl

[brownblob]

thanks for the replies. Still struggling and feeling alone.

[manuel_moe_g]

take care, Brownblob. You mean a lot to us. It is inspiring that you are able to contribute to this board as much as you do.