Greetings from a really bad morning

[MariaElizabeth]

Hi everyone. I was introduced to this podcast by a friend who knows what I am going through similar issues herself, and I love it. My handle is my middle name, so I am ok with you calling me that.

I am recently diagnosed with both depression and anxiety disorder. (Yippy skippy.) I’m seeing my doctor, have a depression care manager as well, and I am scheduled to begin counseling at th end of the month. I’m currently on my second antidepressant. Dose goes up tonight, so keeping my fingers crossed I don’t come emotionally unglued like with the last drug.

I am really struggling this morning after having a few really good days. I’m still dealing with fatigue, and yesterday I also felt really lightheaded. I had a tough time sleeping last night. Now I can feel my depression creeping back in, and I feel absolutely helpless. I hate this roller coaster that I am on, and that my mental illness is trying to trick me into believing I am completely alone when I know that is not the case.

[bigeekgirl]

Hi Maria! Welcome! You are most definitely not alone.

Waiting for treatment to work is a tough part of all these struggles. Be kind to yourself. Your brain is under attack; bad days will happen.

[MariaElizabeth]

Thank you. I took the time to make Swedish cinnamon rolls this morning, something I haven’t done in months. They turned out perfectly, like eating little doughy pillows. There is something really comforting in baking. I do a set of steps in the right order, for the right amount of time, at the right temperature, and something good will come out of it.

I’m still in a lot of pain, but at least one thing went right today.

[bigeekgirl]

Sounds wonderful!

[brownblob]

Hi MariaElizabeth,
Searching for an antidepressant can be frustrating. It can take a while to find one that works for you.
The cinnamon rolls sound good.

[MariaElizabeth]

Brown - yeah, keeping my fingers crossed that this one takes. I am taking generic form of Zoloft, and just took my 1st 50mg dose (up from 25). This is where things went wrong last time, and I am really nervous.

[MariaElizabeth]

Update: made it through the night in one piece. A little iffy this morning, but getting a good night’s sleep was really helpful. Keeping my fingers crossed, I enjoy actually being able to function. :p

Pic of the cinnamon rolls too big, but they looked pretty and were delicious. Will post the link to the recipe if anyone wants it.

[bigeekgirl]

Me and the little Zoloft egg guy from their ads campaigns do pretty well together. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll get to join our little club.

Sleep really is the best medicine. The older I get, too, the more I require a full night consistently to be at all useful.

[MariaElizabeth]

I forgot about those ads! Had a mental image of the zoloft egg guy listening to the podcast and totally cracked up.

[bigeekgirl]

lol. Love it. Poor little egg has still got to deal with his underlying problems.

I only remember the ads so well because I was first on Zoloft way back in my 20s when there wasn't a generic. I started on sample packs with the small doses, going up. Ended up going off it a few years later. Back on as of last summer.