I feel more hopeful today than yesterday

[manuel_moe_g]

I future-trip and catastrophize habitulously.

I am trying a new way of reacting, for the span of 1 week, to see how it works out for me.

I am trying to be more accommodating to my wife, and at the same time, remind the self-hating part of my mind that "(1) nobody ever was on my side when it came to the self-hating part of my mind, and now I am trying to be on my own side, and (2) I am a hard worker, even though the self-hating part of my mind tries to tell me otherwise"

since I am trying this new way of reacting for just a week, no reason to future-trip and catastrophize about it.

[manuel_moe_g]

I am giving myself permission to be slow and gentle to myself, because I have the feeling that I am barely holding on

[oak]

I am on your side, Manuel Moe.

Also, I have found a week as the ideal, and only timeline effective in meeting goals.

You are on the right track. Keep us posted.

[manuel_moe_g]

Thanks, Oak. It makes me feel better to know that you are reading this.

Secret eating is a problem - it consumes my mind, and I don't eat mindfully.

[manuel_moe_g]

slept too much

it is a strange feeling not to indulge the mean voice in my head

when the mean voice in my head brings up a past mistake, I immediately forgive myself and forgive someone else who wronged me. I like doing the forgiving in pairs: if I forgive myself it makes sense to forgive someone else too. Sometimes I forgive the universe for making me with depression, anxiety, social anxiety, and making me be on the aspergers spectrum.

[oak]

Thank you for sharing, Manuel Moe. You are on the right track.

[manuel_moe_g]

procrastination

i can power through procrastination if i remind myself that i am barely holding on, and act accordingly

if every movement is like peeling off a band-aid from a hairy arm, that is the mental state in which i can deal with my chores that i want to procrastinate on

[oak]

Even if you are barely holding on, which is okay, remember that you are holding on.

Hold onto holding on.

Also, in a bit lighter way, may I (sincerely) suggest, when you are practicing mindful eating, to practice with mushrooms?

Besides being delicious, they seem like the perfect food to consume mindfully.

[manuel_moe_g]

thanks for the support, Oak!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are my 6 steps for stopping procrastination


1. reframe the path - wide, straight, grassy on sides



2. Mindful & Compassionate - many opportunities to be mindful



3. prime times of day to be mindful with alerts



4. gap between stimulus and response



5. dimming the mean TV with the remote, dim then turn off, ignore if comes back on again, repeat as necessary



6. building this up, focusing more on the building of a foundation than 100% success rate


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will write more on each of the 6 steps that I am using for procrastination

[manuel_moe_g]

1. reframe the path - wide, straight, grassy on sides

I used to habitually visualize maintaining mindfulness as slowly creeping along a very high very narrow cliffside path, and losing the state of mindfulness as falling off the cliffside path and falling into a rushing river that takes me downstream tumbling in exactly the wrong direction, and regaining mindfulness means frantically swimming to edge of river and climbing back up the cliff side to get back to the narrow path.

But I have more tools now, and access to new states of mind.

my therapist suggests thinking of mindfulness as walking down a wide level easy straight path, with cushioning soft grass on the sides of the path

when I "lose" mindfulness, I am just laying on the side of the path in the tall soft grass

regaining mindfulness is just getting back on the easy path, heading straight in my desired direction

can you imagine it?