Goals lab

Share your creativity; your loves, fears, journal/diary entries, poetry, etc.
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Beany Boo
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Re: Goals lab

Post by Beany Boo »

I’ve been reading a lot lately about antiracism and in particular the experiences of people of color in educational institutions. While my own experience never had the ongoing trauma of racism, the reading is bringing up my own aversion to education. I think I might add a ‘don’t’ to the front of that subgoal. In my mind right now though it’s very complicated. I want to feed my mind with more education but find it difficult to trust the education system. I don’t want to ‘play the game’.
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
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Beany Boo
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Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
preferred pronoun: He/him

Re: Goals lab

Post by Beany Boo »

Subgoal 1f: learn Japanese fishing knots and how to make traditional wooden bait boxes.
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
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Beany Boo
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Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
preferred pronoun: He/him

Re: Goals lab

Post by Beany Boo »

Subgoal 4a clue: If you validate the inequality with which a particular woman is faced, once, turn that gesture into a repetitive habit.

Subgoal 4a clue: Coercive men will escalate their gaslighting behavior, before they’ll relinquish control of women in their sphere. It’s not even conscious. Burst the gaslit bubbles so the women don’t feel crazy.
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
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Beany Boo
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Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
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preferred pronoun: He/him

Re: Goals lab

Post by Beany Boo »

Subgoal 6b progress: I swerved enabling my boss today. It felt like I’d taken a painkiller. He wanted to be right saying something about all his employees in the way he said something to me. It was toxic. He assumed my agreement. I don’t know what I did, just that I didn’t comply to my place in his drama.
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
Heatherwantspeace
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Re: Goals lab

Post by Heatherwantspeace »

Excellent, Beany Boo!
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oak
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Re: Goals lab

Post by oak »

Well done. Standing up, kindly but plainly, to a boss is a grown up thing to do.

Good luck with the woodworking!
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
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Beany Boo
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preferred pronoun: He/him

Re: Goals lab

Post by Beany Boo »

Subgoal 6b progress: I struggle with light, sound, voices, eye contact, exit location, being alone in a room with another person and being direct with people. Today I finally had an encounter where someone put their hand on my shoulder and it actually felt appropriate. Small thing. Huge.
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
User avatar
Beany Boo
Posts: 2565
Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
preferred pronoun: He/him

Re: Goals lab

Post by Beany Boo »

Subgoal 2d progress: Watched a show on aloha shirts made from kimono fabric.
Subgoal 5b: Be kind to groups.
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
User avatar
Beany Boo
Posts: 2565
Joined: June 13th, 2016, 3:18 am
Gender: Not-quite-cis-male
Issues: Risk averse, conversation difficulty, relationship difficulty
preferred pronoun: He/him

Re: Goals lab

Post by Beany Boo »

Subgoal 6b progress: Hold your tongue less.
Mr (blue) B. Boo

‘Out of nowhere the mind comes forth.’ - Zen koan

‘Let go or be dragged.’ - Zen proverb

‘Knowing how to yield is strength.’ - Laozi
Heatherwantspeace
Posts: 365
Joined: August 21st, 2018, 11:05 am
Gender: F
preferred pronoun: she

Re: Goals lab

Post by Heatherwantspeace »

I sometimes wonder if I'll ever stop being aware of where the escape route is or where every person in the room is. Maybe not. I think that's the major thing people don't understand about trauma. It's not all flashbacks. It's often a colossal waste of energy having to keep track of everything.

I really loved your story about the hand on your shoulder. What a lovely, trusted moment where you were each in tune with the other.
Heather
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