feeling 2020

[snoringdog]

Hello RG,

Thanks. (Not to step on BB's thread, but)

Today was much better because I didn't let myself lapse into bad habits.
Got up, stretched, drank water, did 7-Min exercise and 5 mins hard pedaling on the bike. Then walked a mile to return a long-overdue library book.

I've been listening to an audio book "The Upward Spiral", and one of the quotes is "Your brain is attached to a body, and it wants to use it". Moving does make a difference!

SD

[brownblob]

There has been a little bit of an outbreak where I work. Previously, there had been a few isolated cases, but within the last week or so there have been at least 10 cases(I lost count) two of which are people I work with and another guy I work with is still waiting on his results, but I'm going to assume he will be positive too. I am surprised it took this long, but it is finally getting here. The company had to bring people in from out of state because several of the managers were positive. I am hoping I don't catch it. I am hoping this outbreak will settle down. I am hoping these management people that have come in do not cause problems. It is weird to be going through this outbreak at work and come home to watch the White House outbreak on the news. (Sorry Oak, I know you are trying to stay away from news)
I am grateful I saw my mother two weeks ago, before this outbreak at work. I would not see her now.
I have been going through an odd thing with my psychiatrist. In August, he sent me for a DNA test to help him with medicating me. After taking the test, I googled it and from what I read it doesn't sound like a real useful test. Anyway, when I had my September appointment, the Dr sounded like he had run out of meds to try and was giving up on me. I reminded him of this test he had me take. He said he didn't have the results(I don't know if he thought I didn't do it or if he just forgot about it. Probably the latter) He said he would get hold of the results and call me back in a day or two. He didn't call so I sent a message through their website. I got no response. I was beginning to wonder if he had just given up on me. I waited another week and asked the nurse if he had given up or if I should make another appointment. She had me make another appointment and then later in the day she called and left a voicemail saying he wanted me to try a med we had tried a few months back that hadn't helped. I will go ahead and take it to be cooperative, but I am feel like giving up.

[oak]

Good for you for being cognizant of your media consumption!

And you're right: it is time to give up.

On your psychiatrist, that is.

(There is no reason to give up on hope, your worth as a person, or the esteem I and other hold you in. There is every reason for hope for those, and much more.)

In any of our jobs, part of the responsibility is to have a plan, with its attendant verve and focus. Your doctor has been ghosting you, and difficult as it is, I encourage you to consider looking for a new one.

We want some people with some fight.

[rivergirl]

I'm sorry to hear about the outbreak at your work, brownblob. Sounds stressful to have staff out and new managers coming in. I know what you mean about it feeling weird to be going through Covid effects at work while seeing the news about the white house. I supervise three people and this past week two have been quarantined due to symptoms and one lost her father to Covid.

I'm also sorry to hear about your psychiatrist. I agree with Oak. If there's any possibility of getting a new doctor, I think it's worth a try. It's probably hard not to take it personally, but some doctors just aren't as caring or competent as others. I don't think having to try quite a few medications or change or adjust them over time is uncommon at all, so that isn't a reason for him to give up on you. It's probably hard not to take it personally, but I also totally agree with Oak about your worth as a person. I value you and know that you deserve to have good care and feel well as much as anyone does.

I wish there was something I could say to be more helpful. I care and hope you're having a better day today.

rg

[brownblob]

Had one nice moment today. I went to get groceries at Walmart and am always drained when I leave. I was heading off the sidewalk when a man hollered at me from the parking lot. My immediate thoughts were "What does this guy want?" or "Should I know this guy?" Either way I didn't want to deal with people. I looked at him. He said "You dropped something." I turned around to see the always valuable toilet paper had fallen off the bottom of my cart. I said, "Thank you." I turned around and another man was picking it up and handing it to me. I have lost a lot of faith in humanity and it was nice to have this moment of people being nice decent people for no reason.

[oak]

That is lovely. Thank you for sharing.

[rivergirl]

I'm glad you had that moment, brownblob.

[snoringdog]

Hello Brownblob

Yes, on the macro level the world seems like such a hard and cruel place, but one-on-one things are often a lot better.

I guess that's the reason the "Go Fund Me" type pages work. We all feel pretty powerless when contemplating the big picture, but they give people a way to chip in and help...

[Heatherwantspeace]

Hi Brownblob,
How frightening for you at work. I hope the new managers bring good things, only time will tell I guess. And I hope you are okay.
You have been incredibly patient with your psychiatrist. I'm impressed that you keep going, and know that you deserve better. That's no way for him to treat you.
Wishing decent people to be put in your path.
Heather