Sleep apnea, GERD, and obesity: efforts to fix this.

[oak]

Thanks Manuel Moe! Yes, it has been a long, tiresome experience.

The Good News:

While I have serious to grave reservations about proton pump inhibitors, I must admit they have stopped the GERD.

So I'm not waking up choking, which goodness, is that a relief.

The Frowny Face News:

1. Even though I sleep 7-9 hours a night, I am dragging around all day.

Today I met with an actual sleep doctor. He was a man a few words, but authorized the (expected) second sleep test, this one to test the CPAP on me.

He also advised me to lose weight, which I am totally on board with. I accept myself as I am, weight included, but I'd like to improve my eating habits, just like I did so happily in 2018. More anon.

2. I still haven't heard from my increasingly-incompetent (or overwhelmed, or indifferent, or combination of the three) primary care physician. I might have to CBT a call to them tomorrow.

So!

I am not as bad as I was at my worst. I have a plan to move forward, which will require advocating for myself.

[manuel_moe_g]

Even though I sleep 7-9 hours a night, I am dragging around all day.

I had the same problem yesterday, and I can feel it today this morning.

I will do my best to "fake it until I make it" and have a more active-focused body posture and force my energy up, even if I can only inject spurts of energy. And I will try to be compassionate with myself.

Please take care, all the best, cheers!

[oak]

Thank you for your encouragement, Manuel Moe. I needed it, as you'll see.

Today I found out my sleep apnea data: I am at 48, while 15 is bad and 30 is severe.

This information exhausts me.

Nevertheless, I scheduled a telehealth appointment with my nurse practionerer tomorrow, and a CPAP test for Friday night (at a different sleep center than my nightmare experience last month!).

I also found out, last night at 3 am, that while sleep apnea is a downer (dragging around most of the day), GERD is hell on earth. I woke up choking, for the first time in six weeks.

While I'm grateful to have healthcare, this news takes all my spoons. If you have any extra rays of sunshine around, please send one to me.

[manuel_moe_g]

putting a virtual hand on your shoulder, Oak

[oak]

Thank you, Manuel Moe. Your encouragement meant a lot to me: it was a long day and the encouragement I got from you was the only encouragement I got that day. But we all got through that day.

CPAP test post 1 of 2

Tonight is a big step in my recovery from GERD, obesity, and sleep apnea: I go in for an overnight CPAP-adjusting session.

I am nervous. But I know why I am doing this, and how it can help me. I am so tired of dragging around, half dead all day.

In fact, I've printed a vision statement of how I hope things go tonight.

With your kind indulgence I'll post part 2 of 2 tomorrow morning, with a vision-by-vision report of how I did with each.

This is a big deal for me, and the encouragement of my friends here means so much.

[oak]

*
*
*
Imagine a castle:

High, thick walls
Deep moat
Archers securely hidden in the towers
A line of knights around the castle
Flags flying, trumpets blaring: this is a real threat

That's what my sleep apnea is: a formidable threat. An actual, realized threat to my quality of life, and a very real threat to my continued life itself.

Now imagine an invading army:

Trebuchets, many of them, ready with flaming oil and huge rocks
Training scaling parties, ladders and clubs ready
Intense soldiers in those battering ram things, just ready to break through
Even more knights than the other side, itching to get at them

That is what I have:

This forum
Friends and family
CBT and an outstanding counselor
An outstanding EAP program through my employer
The finest resources from around the world, throughout history, at my fingertips (the internet)
My iron will and steely resolve to live. I'm in love with someone, and if I'm going to win her, I will have to make it that future

The threat is no less real or deadly: their arrows are sharp and their knights big and scary, and are playing for keeps.

But what I have is just as big, if not more. Perhaps sleep apnea should be afraid of me.

That is a long way of saying my second sleep study went even worse than the first, and that first one was a real debacle. Back in the 90s and early 00s we accepted demeaning and snide remarks from medical professionals; not anymore. Which is why I was so surprised to have a third negative experience in a row from sleep medicine "professionals".

No matter: I have the means, determination, and motivation to keep trying medical professionals until I find one who gives a damn and does their job. In the unlikely chance I die of sleep apnea before then, well, I went out in faith and courage and determination.

I've said before that this forum is something like 75% of my mental health. It is 90% of my socializing during COVID. I am so grateful to be able to share here. Some things are so important, actually life and death, that I get a bit carried away, or grand. There is a certain honesty in having had enough.

One last thought: castles and knights and battles are on my mind because I recently watched the excellent film "The King" on Netflix. The exploits of one king or another means nothing to me, but I am very interested in where we measure ourselves against reality, with the highest stakes.

Thanks for listening. With your kind indulgence I'll continue to post here as I take prompt action to face this difficult, important issue.

[manuel_moe_g]

Sleep apnea, you are going down! You are in the sights of a self-actualized man.

[oak]

Thank you so much, Manuel Moe, for the encouragement. It is a great help.

1. Upon further reflection
2. The plan for this week
3. A vignette of happy

1. Upon further reflection, while the sleep tech Friday does suck at his job, I do appreciate that he gave me the truth straight: he showed me my troubled sleeping data (it is bad), and in a plain but not scare-mongering way, explained the risks of long-term sleep apnea. He certainly got my attention, as you'll see in this week's plan. I consider him a true friend, even if I don't like him, if that makes sense. Sometimes critics are our best critics.

2. This week's plan, with the odds of completing each

Main/Big Aspects

* Receive results from sleep doctor; schedule another sleep test if indicated. 75%

* Contact my primary care physician. While I am very happy with the nurse practionerers most of the time, this situation is bad enough to require a doctor. 100%

* Contact my parent's doctor for a second opinion. 50%

* Contact my dentist for a tele session about mouth apparatus to mitigate sleep apnea. 100%

* Contact my work EAP for nutrition counseling. At the risk of doxxing myself, we are closed allied with the Forks Over Knives crowd, and the John McDougall book really turned around my biometric numbers a few years ago. 50%

* Work with my counselor on Tuesday to CBT the heck out of this mess. 100%

Secondary, But Still Important Aspects

* If I can't sleep better yet, I can sleep longer: screens off at 9 pm, hoping to be up at 7 am (this may be impossible due to the sleep apnea), and go to the coffee shop most days before work. Again, this one is unlikely, but the main motivation in all these changes is seeing the pretty baristas. I need hope. 25%

* Replace screen time with reading. 75%

* Per John McDougall (starchy whole foods are much better than the Standard American Diet), I want to meal prep lentils, pasta, rice, and beans (these happen to be the only foods that satisfy me). 100%

* Set up my home dojang (martial arts area) so I can get back into the bo staff tutorial. I want to know three new attacks and three new blocks by this time next Sunday. 50%

* Talk with friends and family about my difficult reality and plans to change. 75%

* Listen to The Beatles and neo-soul (think The Black Pumas, The Teskey Brothers, and Anthony Hamilton). For a little joy. 100%

* Go on a date. I haven't been on a date in more years than I care to admit (okay: 4), and don't have anyone to invite out, but without hope, what is there to life? 5%

3. A Happy Vignette

While reviewing the rice options at Walmart immediately after the sleep test, I noticed an employee also trying to find a rice product. Trying to be polite, I asked her if she personally liked rice. It turns out she recently relocated from Puerto Rico, and offered me many suggestions and recipes!

She handed me abodo, sazon, and the suggested rice, all of which I gratefully accepted. With a little courage I'll try to make arroz con gandules today, and report back here next Sunday. I may even make black beans with rice. So good.

The reason I mention this brief encounter is to prove again that there are so many lovely people in the world ready to help. Once I decided to do better, and made the first tentative step, God/fate/the universe rushed to give me ample help.

I've made a note in my calendar to post here next Sunday with an update. Thank you for listening, and caring.

[rivergirl]

Hello Oak,

I've just caught up with a couple of your posts about what you've been experiencing this past week, and have more I'd like to say when I have a little more time. I'm glad you're reaching out and for now I just want to say that I hear you, and I care about you.

rivergirl

[Beany Boo]

I don’t know if this is helpful.

I’ve started using a fan at night.

But I put it in the doorway threshold facing out. It sucks air through the back and pushes it into the hall. The negative pressure created inside the room sucks air in through the window so you get fresh air during the night.

Fans draw much less power than AC. I don’t like it but its the lesser of two evils. It’s just while I’m waiting for someone to design bedrooms that sleepers can breathe in.

You need a quiet one, or get use to the whir. On the lowest setting is enough.

I wake feeling better than when sleeping in the airless room. And I seem to retain more energy throughout the morning.

It’s not ideal, but it’s better, and not a direct solution for apnea.

Also, not a solution:

I’ve managed to replace candy with stone fruit. Ripe stone fruit (mostly nectarines and plums for me) are sweet as candy when ripe. They have fiber and vitamin c. I think they might aid weight loss. You can’t eat too many, maybe 2 or 3 per day. They seem to help curtail appetite too.