Lockdown: mixed emotions, humility.

[oak]

Two thoughts:

1. Coronavirus
2. Coronavirus lockdown

1. Coronavirus

I hate and fear and condemn the coronavirus. Strong language, and I am unequivocal in calling it wholly evil.

2. Coronavirus lockdown

a. Next time

I will never go through another lockdown. Not because I hate it, but because I love it.

I'll come back to society, this time. If there's another lockdown in five, ten, or thirty years I probably won't engage again with society. So long as I can work from home and do better with exercise, there is little in society that beckons to me.

Excepting martial arts and swing dance, the last year taught me how satisfying being by myself is. I am excellent company.

b. Thoughts on research

I support the COVID-19 lockdowns. I also want it to be studied carefully: this was by far the biggest, grandest social science experiment in modern history. We shut down society, more or less, for over a year.

I am not much of a bible scholar, but I've learned the wisdom of this: "Count the cost". I think we owe it to those lost, and destroyed, by COVID. It is such a huge tragedy.

c. My experience, and moving on

I hasten to add that during COVID I had the twin blessings of enormous privilige and excellent luck.

Should there someday be another lockdown, heaven forbid,I hope to be prepared.

In the meantime I have very mixed emotions about this lockdown ending. I am humbly grateful to have survived COVID so far, and am very happy to have started a new job, a good job.

I wonder about the people lost and destroyed by COVID. I wonder if we'll ever really consider what and who we lost, what the costs were, and why some suffered so much more than others (though all have suffered). Or will we be so quick to move on? Do we, who have survived so far, have any choice but to move on?

[snoringdog]

Beautifully expressed. Thank you for posting this.

SD

[oak]

Thank you for your kind words, SnoringDog!

I got my vaccine yesterday, and I am struck by two things:

1. "This is what America can be."

Easily going through the experience at a mass vaccination clinic, for one afternoon we were all just people, going through an minor inconvenience to help ourselves and each other.

Having effected vastly smaller programming events in my career, I am in awe of what America can be when we work together.

2. Today I feel crappy.

While I have zero scientific or medical proof of this, I like to believe my already-existing antibodies thought this when they saw the Pfizer mRNA from the vaccine:

"Aw hell no. We're not going through that [COVID] again!" ergo the feverishness, achiness, and emotional crabbiness/whininess.

Still, having had COVID once is plenty. I want to stay in mostly, for the next two weeks. Much like I've done in the previous six months.

In conclusion, these side effects are normal and expected, so I give myself permission to be spoon-free this weekend: other than putting a pork roast in the slower cooker tomorrow (purely for my own pleasure), I have nothing to do and nowhere to go all weekend.

Thanks for listening!

[rivergirl]

Hi Oak,

Thank you for your posts.

I appreciate your mentions of those lost. I continue to be shocked and saddened by what I see as the minimization of suffering and loss due to Covid. I'm left with the feeling that the lives of some people are considered worth less than others (older adults, people with chronic health conditions or disabilities, those who died in group living facilities).

I'm not minimizing the cost of the lockdowns either, particularly to people who lost jobs, all of those suffering from lack of socialization, etc.

I'm glad that you had the resilience to get through this time, as painful as it has been and continues to be for you at times. As hard as it is, having a reaction to the vaccine is probably a good sign for your future immunity.

Take care,
rg

[rivergirl]

p.s. Don't want to hijack your thread completely, but I'm discouraged because I found out this week that one of the medications I take for my autoimmune illness can reduce the effectiveness of the vaccine. I've been trying unsuccessfully for the past few days to get in touch with the specialist I see to find out if I should skip my weekly dose this weekend in preparation for my second vaccine in another week.

I relate to your lack of spoons regarding Covid.

[rivergirl]

one more p.s.

As to what America can be: Yes, I've also been struck by the positive aspects of human nature that Covid has revealed. Despite some inevitable snafus, the vaccination efforts have been amazing. The organization I work for was involved in providing staff for mass vaccination sites in my area, and one of my employees participated. Staff volunteered on very short notice to work long shifts in less than ideal conditions at personal risk to themselves in order to save lives.

[oak]

Thank you for sharing, RiverGirl! This podcast, fairly well into the episode, addresses your reasonable concern about autoimmune medication and the vaccine

https://www.vox.com/?archives=true&page=49

(Summary: continue to take your medication as prescribed, and talk to your doctor before getting the vaccine.)

And speaking of America, I chatted up several of the soldiers as I waited for any immediate reactions. One was from Texas, and the other Alaska: both people from very red states coming to our very blue city in a fairly red state to help us. I heard someone behind me speaking Spanish, and guess what: we all got along. Everyone was grateful and kind. Everything was easy.

One of the greatest crimes of propaganda is keeping us from our common humans. Amazing things happen when we can look each other in the eye.

On a little more personal level, though it happened shortly before I was born, my undergrad institution has a complex relationship with the National Guard. Many of my fraternity brothers, who were a generation older than me, were there that terrible day. Yet the National Guardsmen I saw yesterday were human, just like me. Once again, COVID completely tears down the walls we build between us and all that is left if our common humanity.

[JennaM]

Love that feeling of being able to recognize my own good company. And it never takes too long for me to pine for it after a foray into the Petri dish of other people!

[oak]

Love that feeling of being able to recognize my own good company. And it never takes too long for me to pine for it after a foray into the Petri dish of other people!

So true!

I was just thinking today that I could really use another year of this. And maybe every ten or so years.

[JennaM]

Love that feeling of being able to recognize my own good company. And it never takes too long for me to pine for it after a foray into the Petri dish of other people!

So true!

I was just thinking today that I could really use another year of this. And maybe every ten or so years.

100%!