Ta-dah! List

[oak]

Word, Manuel Moe.

You have come a long way, BeanyBoo. I look forward with internet to future ta-da’s.

[rivergirl]

Congratulations on your ta-dahs!, Beany. The pochibukuro, the survey, your courage, your kindness. I feel lucky to know you in this forum.

rg

[Beany Boo]

Thank you all

Today I just sat for a good 45 minutes. I let my thoughts slow; because that felt healthy. I stopped forcing them to relentlessly formulate achievements. I just started valuing them as whatever they spontaneously were. I figured if I did that and just accepted the mystery of the experience a bit more that that might be enough in itself to carry me safely through; at least for an extended moment.

I guess the ta-dah! was finding a calm ‘perch’ from which to have responses, amidst the overwhelm.

[Beany Boo]

For about 4 months I’ve been shuffling. 2 to 3 sessions per week. Each week totaled between 4.5 and 9 miles. Today I finally without warning, broke into a run. I wasn’t expecting it but when my body was ready my legs began to lift easily.

The ta-dah! was the surprise of it.

[manuel_moe_g]

Happy Surprise, you deserve such good things, Beany, for all you do!

[Beany Boo]

My survey assignment deadline is coming up. I think it’s going okay. I’ll probably pass. It’s the first formal learning I’ve done in 25 years. Last time, the internet wasn’t really a thing; not for library-type study anyway. I’ve enrolled in more units for the course for the rest of the year.

It feels like a small closure on a long term certain-failure complex.

I leveraged the confidence I got from that and enrolled today in a MOOC; a free mindfulness course; recommended by my organization.

I had already enrolled in another mindfulness course to start in February, recommended by a therapist. So that’s two overlapping mindfulness courses. The opportunities were there. There was no barrier to entry…

I’ve somehow concluded that I succeed in learning that ‘fills my heart’. If it fills my heart I stay in an opportunity-based decision-making mindset.

There’s a Japanese kanji-set for the word ‘busy’ that directly translates as ‘heart+dying’.

So I might seek out heart-filling learning opportunities and depreciate that heart dying busy-ness. That conclusion is today’s ta-dah!

[Beany Boo]

A lot of stuff is happening for me at the moment in small shifts.

I guess the ta-dah! is that my brain is actually accepting the shifts as incremental improvements. My brain is accepting that risk.

[Beany Boo]

I realized today that with my mask and my sunglasses on, I can walk down the street with a massive grin on my face, and nobody is any the wiser. It feels really good and makes me think that my anxiety stems from the shame I’m made to feel at not being allowed to smile where and when I please. There’s a tyranny in having to hold a blank expression in front of others.

The ta-dah! is the secret pleasure in the midst of a crowd.

[manuel_moe_g]

I realized today that with my mask and my sunglasses on, I can walk down the street with a massive grin on my face, and nobody is any the wiser. It feels really good and makes me think that my anxiety stems from the shame I’m made to feel at not being allowed to smile where and when I please. There’s a tyranny in having to hold a blank expression in front of others.

The ta-dah! is the secret pleasure in the midst of a crowd.

Man, this is great! You keep smiling, Beany!

[oak]

Agreed with Manuel Moe: well done!

(So much shame, and shaming, comes from the mouth. I’ve long believed it is one of our most intimate body parts. I do not feel compelled to share that with just anyone walking by.)

Keep these ta-dad’s coming, BeanyBoo!