to-do lists and procrastination, other topics

[Mental Fairy]

Wanted to wish you all a good upcoming weekend. Oak I hope this break you had has been therapeutic for you. It’s Friday midday here and just came to thinking of you all.
Wished I knew about this forum years ago.

[oak]

Explaining the details to therapist two days ago was so terrifying.

@MentalFairy: I am very glad you made it to the therapy session. We are only as sick as our secrets. Well done.

And thanks for the encouragement for my week off! I'll post about it soon

[manuel_moe_g]

Brain Dump...

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[[[From my daily planning notes]]]

The concept of "wishing away a day" is blowing my mind. I don't really "wish away" a whole day, but definitely wish away whole hours, hour after hour. It is a very very scary way to think about time, our most precious resource. Time is a precious resource, and I don't treat it as such.

Overestimating what i can do on a "good" day is killing me. "Wishing hours away"is killing me. Maintaining a mindful mindset and being compassionate to myself when i lose that mindful mindset is nourishing to me.

Very interesting that I never give "future Manuel" a say in what I do in the moment. This viewpoint can be overdone, but strange to never do it at all. It is about using my imagination to have my future self there who is keenly aware of the consequences of what I do and how I do it, and let "future Manuel" have a say, and maybe even provide encouragement to take the difficult action of break habits that don't serve me well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I have intrusive depressive memories, instead of experiencing those memories with myself immersed in the memory, i have the option to imagine the scene of the old memory as appearing on a small old analog television set, and the television set being way across on the other side of a big room, with the tv volume all the way down. it means that i don't get caught up in the memory, it becomes something that i can more easily ignore

also, i am having a hard time with the thought "i am a good person". i think a big part of the hold up is my college-aged-self inside of me is so beaten down that to make sense of the onslaught he just doesn't believe that it is possible that he is a good person - he thinks "if i am a good person, why do so many bad things happen to me?". I can't turn on a dime and just think "i am a good person", i am just too far away from it right now. But I am able to agree 100% with the thought "I am on the path to thinking that i am a good person", that thought is true. my therapist describes this as a "meta-cognition" statement, that is a stepping-stone to eventually 100% believing that "i am a good person"

[Mental Fairy]

You are a good person, your recognised this issue within yourself. The fact your are concerned about your own thoughts and feelings is a indication your on a healing path. Gosh I am quite taken by your brain dump.

[Beany Boo]

90% of things people worry about never come to be.

It is safe to feel like a good person (self-interested) and do bad (self-interested) things. The two co-exist. It’s difficult that you don’t control the affects on others, of your self-interested actions. Some of the affects help them regardless!

Just thoughts. Plant a seed and watch it grow.

[Mental Fairy]

How is your to-do list Manuel moe?
Is multitasking even possible. With 100% given on each task at exactly the same time?

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello Mental Fairy!

Is multitasking even possible. With 100% given on each task at exactly the same time?

Of course I know that multitasking on my to-do list is impossible, i have stopped beating myself up on that. i am trying to do focus, priority&balance, stamina, self-discipline

I have started in a informal adult ADHD support group, it sucks that when you knock down a challenge there is another big challenge right behind

challenges i have worked on:

• autism spectrum
• depression
• anxiety
• social anxiety
• didn't have good tools or good strategies modeled for me when i was young
• black and white thinking, all or nothing thinking, thinking in pure absolutes, attracted to extremes instead of the golden middle
• Resentment building up to explosive anger
• needing more mindfulness

now i have "being on the ADHD spectrum" as another challenge, it was hiding behind all the other challenges

it sucks

[Mental Fairy]

Morning Manuel moe.
You really have worked on a lot. The menu of concerns really does form a cobweb of complex titles that overlap into each other. How have you managed with the social anxiety?
In our country the testing for autism spectrum indemnification is so expensive with a waiting list longer than 2 years. Madness.

Your very brave to face all of this. Must be so overwhelming at times. I worked with a nurse for two years whom got tested for many disorders and when she found out she was borderline with many she was devastated as there was no one dominant disorder with her. She walked off her job and just simply disappeared and never heard from her since. She had a partner for maybe six weeks and I had never seen her so happy. Sadly her lovely little quirks such as order and schedule plus OCD overwhelmed the guy and he broke up with her. It was so devastating to watch but tried to be there for her. She deserves so much happiness.
I hope your doing ok.

[oak]

Morning Manuel moe.
You really have worked on a lot.

Word.

I agree, Mental Fairy, that our dear friend Manuel Moe has worked on, and continues to work on, many important topics. Hang in there, Manuel Moe!

[manuel_moe_g]

I worked with a nurse for two years whom got tested for many disorders and when she found out she was borderline with many she was devastated as there was no one dominant disorder with her. She walked off her job and just simply disappeared and never heard from her since. She had a partner for maybe six weeks and I had never seen her so happy. Sadly her lovely little quirks such as order and schedule plus OCD overwhelmed the guy and he broke up with her. It was so devastating to watch but tried to be there for her. She deserves so much happiness.

This is one of the saddest stories i have ever heard. i feel so bad for her.