Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

It’s back……. Like thick darkness in a room with no light. The night terrors made themselves known last night.
Awoken at 2:33am this morning apparently screaming, shivering and paralysed with fear.
Completely out of the depth’s of my mind arose a hideous scenario that I’ve never had before.

So real and so palpable it has the claws in my mind. Got up and went for a run early, husband shocked at the hideous screaming that woke him.

I recall every single detail with feeling. Even the noises were so audible and loud. My heart rate goes up just thinking of the ending. Never in my life have I had such terror in the depths of sleep.

Exhausted and work day ahead.
My husband asked what it was about and I couldn’t even utter a word.
Headache is an understatement right now.

[oak]

Oh my goodness, MentalFairy. That is a difficult situation indeed.

I hope the run gave you some comfort.

Keep us posted.

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you Oak

Just arrived to work. Middle of winter and very cold here. I have to look at last night as a mental glitch in the system. Reminding me it's a work in progress. Therapist did warm me of this happening, especially with writing my speech.

I took the new found sense of self for granted. Small reminder that no matter how big of a bridge we build the confronting feelings can always cross it. It's how i move forward from this little event that is the key. I can't ignore it, or put it aside for another day. Just tackle it, feel how it felt and learn from the feelings it generated and let it pass over. It is not welcome to set up came on this side of my bridge!

[Mental Fairy]

Today is the first day in many a weeks I’ve been to scared to sleep.
I was ok at the first half of the day but as night falls the anxiety creeps it’s way in. I’m so very much hoping it doesn’t slip under my eyelids and project horrible scenes before my eyes.

It’s like being forced to watch a movie gene you would never ever watch for fear of screaming so loud the neighbours hear you or dropping your popcorn.
In my case waking the house, terrifying my cat and dropping my guts.

Alas I will cook some dinner and hope no sandman craps on me tonight.

[manuel_moe_g]

please take care, Mental Fairy. I wish I could wave a magic wand to take your painful trauma away.

have you ever tried EMDR? https://www.healthline.com/health/emdr-therapy

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Manuel Moe
Yes, I have. Was going to talk to my therapist about it next time. Have you tried it?

Hoping you are ok. Thoughts are with you and your loved one. Hang in there.

[manuel_moe_g]

I like EMDR it is a structured way of bringing out old painful memories until they just don’t have any “juice” left.

[Mental Fairy]

Going to talk to therapist next week about it.

I have my first public speaking engagement tomorrow on ovarian cancer. Was feeling ok about it this morning but I’ve had a call from two of my patients whom have this condition and they have asked to come along and support me. I was very taken back by that. Doesn’t stop me from code brown feeling!

I was expecting to have nightmares last night but instead had a dream I had to hide 50 Cent from the media as he was actually a women and was struggling to breast feed his baby. I have to find imitation breasts and fill them full of milk so I could get the baby to latch on for a feed as his boobs weren’t working.

Actually, yes that does count as a nightmare!

[oak]

...t I’ve had a call from two of my patients whom have this condition and they have asked to come along and support me.

Wow, that's amazing! That means a lot. I hope your presentation went well. I'll be very excited to hear how it went.

I was expecting to have nightmares last night but instead had a dream I had to hide 50 Cent from the media as he was actually a women and was struggling to breast feed his baby. I have to find imitation breasts and fill them full of milk so I could get the baby to latch on for a feed as his boobs weren’t working.

This is a profound dream.

Your psyche is doing some heavy lifting! I hope it gives you some rest soon: your dreams have been demanding a heavy price from you, my friend.

Also, are you open to me offering an interpretation of the 50 Cent aspect of this dream?

[Mental Fairy]

Yeah I would love some dream analysis please!!! Let me get on my comfy couch and allow you to pick apart my weirdness!!!

Speech at 1pm our time tomorrow.

Actually super excited in a way.