Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Rivergirl, you just made a tear form. Desert is my weakness! Cheesecake! Any cheesecake!

Today has been ok, sleep is disturbing but hey what isn’t!

I finished a little early after working in theatre today and went to toy shop to get some things for my boss’s grandchildren. Sea monkeys and science stuff.

SD you have been busy haven’t you. I like the look of trauma conference. I don’t have enough words to say thank you.

Oak, a lot of our suicides are from farmers. Many many farmers are doing this due to pressure.
If you look up farmer rates of suicide in NZ you will be shocked. My husband has been to two farms this year to deliver fertiliser and unfortunately suicide had taken place. It’s so expensive to live her and people are leaving faster than ever. To be honest we have even looked into it also. Sounds crazy I know, but under the current government the country is in a whole lot of trouble. Our medical system is shocking beyond words. Today alone I had to fight to get medication for a patient whom had major surgery last Friday and the government wanted to charge her $370.00 for an injection that she could get free if she didn’t some paperwork. But the paperwork acceptance takes 10 days. Without the medication she won’t survive due to a blood disorder.
There is many many young ones also. Matt’s friend took his life as school didn’t give him hope I guess. This young man got his pilots license and covid hit and he was told he wasn’t going to be needed and there was no hope. His parents also split up and sadly this man young lad took his life.
There is a lack of places for people to go for help and not enough boots on the ground to help.
I am guessing it’s the same anywhere?

I know there is no perfect county but sadly ours is currently failing. We just got warnings of further flooding about an hour ago.

Our kiwi accent is weird apparently SD. I hear a South African accent and immediately connect with them. Australian, not so much. I absolutely love the Canadian and American accents! I guess because I have spent a lot of time there.

Grass isn’t always greener but right now we have no grass left, just mud!

I would like to propose the idea as I have to Oak about our moments of lowness. If able it would be nice if we feel this feeling to take out our devices and take a picture of something in the moment. Post it and add why that particular photo gave us the feeling to photograph.

Random idea but I’m trying to help pick my dear friend Oak up a little and support.

Thinking of you all. Thunder and lightning here so time to shut down and hunker down.

Love your Māori language SD. You were spot on.

Nga Mihi Hoa.

[Mental Fairy]

SD, can i ask what brought you to this forum?? I am interested to know what was the kick start to everyone logging onto this forum.

[Mental Fairy]

Gosh i open up the topics section of the forum and it looks like my mind has sneezed my name over all the topics!!

I just ducked home and lunchtime as Joe is on nightshift and i don't see him for over a week, i like to get his dinner made and sorted before he wakes up. Got up at some ungodly hour this morning and made a meatloaf and doing so roasted vegetables. I am craving pees currently. Can't get enough of them. Takes me back to my childhood of picking them from the garden and eating them out of their beautiful pods, chewing the pods and then spitting them back into the garden! Unknown to us the soil was contaminated with 245T. The factory next door brewing up the chemicals for Vietnam war and making pesticides. Agent orange really has killed so many in this city and still causes terrible birth defects.

Anyway on a brighter note i got home at lunchtime and Joe was in his slumber pit snoring like a train. He had written me a note on the bench asking me how my day was going and how my friends were on the forum. Oak, Joe wanted me to tell you that he has just started Saxenda. It is a medication to help kick start his weight loss journey and wanted to know if the doctors have that available in your neck of the woods. (really must look up where that terminology come from)

As you all know i don't have friends i turn to so much and also being introverted at times i struggle to even stand in a shop. You all have become a world of support for me and this really made me smile when Joe asked how you all were. Complete strangers, other parts of the world, and warmly welcomed into our conversations even when he is asleep. That warmed my heart!!

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

Good to see your post! (I was going to answer your query, but it looks like my time slot has passed ). Maybe I should start on another thread..

SD

[snoringdog]

How are you all feeling post-Covid, by-the-way?
Take care of yourselves!

(I remember how a bunch of the mega-rich had planned to hole up in NZ when this all started, but there's really no escaping)

[Mental Fairy]

Hi SD. Really interested in your upcoming post! Your time slot is all yours.

Covid is behind us and I’m sure it will be back!

[Mental Fairy]

Oh this is a strange start to the day indeed.
I went to bed incredibly early last night as we are yet again getting hit by another storm. It’s raining so much here now even the cat looks depressed.

Woke to my son going to work at 4am before class at 8:30am. He will be tired tonight.
I’m having the most strange dreams and waking to a feeling of uncertainty. Falling back to sleep to repeat the dream like a broken movie reel.

I feel very jittering and off centre. Went to get on the yoga mat and my mind was not in the right head space at all. Joes on nights so he came home about 6am looking tired and old!
Enormous list of jobs today so I think that’s the problem. Laundry, collect milk from farm, go to lab to do bloods, go to hospital to drop off instruments, go to pharmacy to get my medication, back to clinic to do accounts, reminders, sort appointments for next week. My head just wants to read but can’t hold the attention knowing I got jobs to do.
Self hatred currently as I didn’t run this morning due to the weather and cat looking sad!
It’s not easy being human!

Sitting in my car in the rain waiting for clothing in dryer at laundry mat as we have lost power due to storm. Watching the rain drops fall onto the windscreen and wondering about where the same drops of water will fall next after being evaporated! Makes me think of humans reliving time and time again! Shit I hope not.

[manuel_moe_g]

Take care, Mental Fairy. What you describe reminds me of those times my grasp on reality is so slippery that my own head feels like it might pop off the top of my neck. Or my face feels like it will ooze down over the front of my shirt like some kind of massive runny yolk

again, wish could send good vibes to you over the internet wires, during this time

[Mental Fairy]

Shit, that would be a sight to behold! Walk into the medical clinic and head head fulls onto the desk!!! Lucky no patients today. Feel like I’m not even present today.

[oak]

Mental Fairy, thank you for posting. I am glad to see you using your words.

As always, I am in agreement with our good friend Manuel Moe: we send all the good vibes.

Also, I did real some stories of the tragic suicides, many of them rural young men, in NZ.

There is lots I could say, but it would just get me into a negativity spiral.

I will say this: everyone here is breaking the generational curse of passing down unprocessed trauma. It ends with me, and it ends with you.

Also, thank you for posts on my threads. You are generous with your encouragement. I appreciate it.