My weekend

[rivergirl]

I've been getting through weekends a bit better but this one may be shaping up to be a struggle. I think I've been chronically short on the "spoons" that Oak mentions for years, so things that were more bearable in the past can feel unbearable.

In the past few days I was contacted by my most recent ex after not hearing from him for a couple of months, my sister was hospitalized, I have a repair that will require me to be at home most of today, and I have to work on a presentation for Monday after already working too much last week. I don't think any of these things would bother me as much except for some reason they exacerbate the chronic loneliness I feel. I guess it's having been on my own for so long without the mutual support of being with a partner. I miss that terribly.

I may report on my progress this weekend, although I'm also feeling shame for posting here.

[oak]

RiverGirl, thank you for sharing. I’m glad you did.

Your weekend sounds… not great, to be frank.

Fortunately, we are here for you, and you’re definitely not alone.

Regarding loneliness, which I also know all too well, that is a tough subject.

Please do keep us posted.

[rivergirl]

Thank you, Oak. It makes a difference knowing that there are people who understand.

[rivergirl]

Progress report #1

The repair visit was fraught with shame for me. I ended up paying $100 for the quote but not the $1000 they proposed for repair. I swallowed my pride and called my brother for advice, and he was really nice about the situation. He said he can do the repair & he won't take payment but I can buy him lunch. I should save about $950. I'm glad that my relationship with my brother is improved, even though still not close as it once was.

I know this is a lot to write about a silly repair, but I think it was symbolic of a lot more to me. It's also a terribly grey day here today, and being at home all day on a weekend can be rough anyway. The fact that my brother and maybe nephew will be here later cheers me up a bit.

Thank you anyone reading and I apologize if I put you to sleep.

rg

[snoringdog]

Thank you anyone reading and I apologize if I put you to sleep.
Hello Rivergirl,

Your last sentence made me laugh out loud!
I hope that makes you smile.


(And no shame necessary. )

SD

[Mental Fairy]

Gosh rivergirl I wish I could help you.
Really hoping this feeling lifts with visitors coming. I send you a big kiwi hug, the one that’s got a soft skin and not the prickly one. Golden kiwi we call it!

[Mental Fairy]

Hi RG

How was the remainder of the weekend? Did the visitors help?

Thinking of you.

[manuel_moe_g]

Thank you anyone reading and I apologize if I put you to sleep.

I agree with SnoringDog!

You are simply the best!

[oak]

Agreed with our good friend Manuel Moe, who agrees with our other good friend, SnoringDog.

I hope everything went well!

[rivergirl]

Thanks so much for all of your comments, oak, SD, MF, and MM.

I'm glad I made you laugh, SD. I think I literally put myself to sleep later that day, sitting in my car before going in the grocery store I dozed off briefly.

My brother ended up fixing the plumbing issue for me and I was grateful for his help. I bought a "scratch lounge" cat bed for my mom's cat, and got one for my brother's cats as well. It's nice to feel like my relationship with my brother is more cordial at this point.

I'm going to try to catch up on posts here later this evening after going out to do errands. I feel like weekends are still alternating intense grief, loneliness, and anxiety about my future with times when I feel relatively okay and with some sense of hope & peace.

i will always be grateful for the kindness shown here on the forum.