Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

I felt I slightly overdid it today. It was partly I engaged in some activities I didn’t foresee would put me over the line. And partly I engaged with some people who didn’t really see the line for themselves and I found myself having to do emotional labor when I was already depleted.

That said, I got some good interactions in while I was still on the right side of the line. Hopefully today I can keep the cognitive load manageable. I know I work better when I don’t force it. I know I am working in a way that is not the norm. I have seen enough now though of what is possible if you respect your own limits, to make doing so my focus.

[manuel_moe_g]

Wow this is great, I like it, totally self-compassionate not self-blaming at all

My habit in these kind of situations is to hate myself for not being perfect

I am getting better at being self-compassionate

Keep on rocking, Beany!

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MM

[Beany Boo]

Afterthought:

It’s not, less soft, more tough.

It’s, go softer so that you can go tougher

… in a cycle.

[Beany Boo]

I realized today that a positive thought is not ‘everything is and will be alright in a dreamy, lucky way.’

It’s more like, ‘the familiar punishment is going to work slightly less effectively today, for no reason.’

For me anyway, that feels genuinely positive, grim as it sounds.

[manuel_moe_g]

‘the familiar punishment is going to work slightly less effectively today, for no reason.’

oh yeah, this is definitely a feeling, and it is definitely positive

take care, all the best, Mister Beany!

[Beany Boo]

Thank you MM

[Beany Boo]

I did a meditation on failure; really just contemplation. It’s a different thing when you turn directly to face it; rather than looking at it over your shoulder. It’s more objective, like a diagram. Or it’s like an actor frantically trying to show you a story that makes sense. But the ‘frantic-ness’ is also part of the trying to make sense (like it wouldn’t make sense if it wasn’t presented in a frantic atmosphere).

I am going to make friends with failure. It’s not because I am resigned to it. It’s more that the actor is just my instincts dressed up. It’s a way to listen to them more freely.

[manuel_moe_g]

Yeah, this reminds me of my own journey with failure

First of all, “Failure is not an option” is just a nice way of saying “I will hide my moral failure behind socially acceptable excuses”

Second of all, if you can eventually stand up after being knocked down and keep chugging along, is it worth calling that a failure? Any way you slice it, it is a wild success! Who cares what society says.

Getting friendly with “failure” means you can finally act with freedom

Wishing you true moral success, oh Great Mister Beany, Zen Master of the Forum!

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MM