Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Hi All

I am sure you will recall me telling you our patients with ovarian cancers have been told no treatment plans will made until we have radiologists reviews. The meeting was meant to happen today. Five weeks since we found the tumours. Into my email about 10min ago I got a sorry but no radiologist available for management review. Postponed again till after Christmas.

This is an example of care we have in NZ currently. It breaks my heart out patients die before a plan can get made for care. We have tried finding a radiology department to look at cases but all too busy in the district. We can’t look outside of the region as government rule forbids it.

I’m shocked, and the anger brews. Meanwhile I have to call our patient and inform them they are put on hold until some radiologist becomes available.

[manuel_moe_g]

Oh my god

How devastating

Please take care of yourself, Mental Fairy, don’t let the bastards crush you

[snoringdog]

What's the government rule about?

(I assume your districts/regions" might be something like our "states" in the US?)

What's the penalty for calling?

Obviously, there should be some national coordination. NZ isn't that large is it?

[Mental Fairy]

Morning

The way the system here works to horrible. The country gets broken up into regional sections. Our section for some reason incorporates west coast of the north island as well as central part all the way over to east coast and down to the southern part of north island. It’s a vast area. All the people in the region currently awaiting treatment management for their cancers have to go before a panel of specialists to be discussed about individually. The panel incorporates a vast amount of members whom have a zoom call together as talk about next steps, who’s going to operate and where the operation takes place.
Both out critical patients in waiting have been waiting over five weeks to find out the next step. Replayed due to lack of specialists, even if one specialist can’t make it the entire discussion is dropped until the next week.
I managed to get my hands on the list of patients waiting in our district. There is over 16 in terminal status from yesterday alone. Meaning life will be ended within 6months. All vary in ages . From 16 to 93. Some have have cancer already and now going through it again. Some have it in new places and others recurrences popping up.

I tried getting someone to look at our cases from out of district out of desperation but no one can take them on as they must go before our local panel before any surgery can take place. If a surgeon did take on a case and remove the tumours and the cancer wasn’t fully removed or other complications happen they will be stripped of their license to practice and charges laid.

We have people leaving the country to get surgery daily. I kid you not the system here is so bad we can’t even operate this Friday in theatre as we don’t have enough nurses.

How does one just allow their patients to wait while their tumour grows like wildfire. Our primary concern is both our patients have had scans and both have tumours in lump glands as well as chest. They also have private health insurance. It’s madness

[oak]

Whaaaaat?

Five weeks?

Just to decide on “the next step”?

Wouldn’t any intervention in such acute/terminal cases be better than the current intervention of nothing?

Isn’t cancer care, while evolving, fairly standard as far as, at least, initial interventions?

I recognized all of the words you wrote, Mental Fairy, as coherent words in a language that we share. But none of that made sense, even after multiple readings.

Also, and this is just me, but the more I learn about some (not all) cancer treatments the more I may choose not to get treated.

I can’t be the only one.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hi Mental Fairy,

I tried getting someone to look at our cases from out of district out of desperation but no one can take them on as they must go before our local panel before any surgery can take place. If a surgeon did take on a case and remove the tumours and the cancer wasn’t fully removed or other complications happen they will be stripped of their license to practice and charges laid.

wow, this is intense, they are in such a rush to punish people who try to do the right thing, but if you sit on your hands and don't cost them any money, you are always safe. it is sad, it is the state of affairs everywhere

We have people leaving the country to get surgery daily. I kid you not the system here is so bad we can’t even operate this Friday in theatre as we don’t have enough nurses.

There is always an answer, and the answer is "if you have the money, you will be fine, if you don't, go pound sand"

Please take care Gia, sending you good vibes over the internet wires, you deserve it and you deserve so much more

[Mental Fairy]

Hi All

I struggled today. Inside I was screaming , I think I managed to mask it well!

Navigation of peoples blood report, sorting medication and arrangements for scripts and observation of treatments. Yet still lives hang in the balance waiting for care from the higher powers that be. I had a shocking sleep last night, all the patients I was reading about on this waiting list from all over the north island, age be no barrier, social status or fitness. It comes to us all eventually but it kills me inside to not have the man power to care for people. There has been an immediate notice issued over the country that hospice care is flooded and no longer taking day stays. Days stays for so the family can have a break and catch their breath while their loved one is being cared for. Now it’s a one way stop. If your under hospice care you have 72 hours to die approximately. Madness.

On a bright note I managed a jog after work as I felt rage inside. Made my way to the Te Henui walkway about did a 5km jog. 28 degrees Celsius and no wind, got a little warm. Listened to a podcast about some crime thing and found myself looking over my shoulder!

Local private hospital sent me a massive hamper for my efforts this year.

I spoke to a patient today over the phone, she is struggling with menopause and feeling a lot of anxiety she’s never had before. I listened and shared I feel anxiety and she’s not alone. We discussed ways of how to help her and to manage things moving forward. By the end of the call she was having a moment and thanked me for listening and understanding. I honestly found her the highlight of my day. I think because she was honest and carried shame in her words. I wanted to hug her and allow her to just sit in that moment of really be heard. Then I thought of all of you. You are all my little shoulders to lean on for support and it doesn’t have to be in person. You all have a breath of air in your lungs that I am grateful for. You are all reading this and thinking your nothing special…..but you are. To me.

[manuel_moe_g]

wish it was easier for you, Mental Fairy, you deserve an easier life

please take care of yourself

[Mental Fairy]

Morning Team Mental!

Again sleep evades me, far from restful as the brain was working overtime, it was hot and humid and the cat saw her reflection in the ipad screen and had a fight with herself. She was doing that horrible cat meow when they fight, just she was fighting with herself in the reflection.

Awoken to rain and fog, the best kind of weather. Big fan of weather like that. Had a 8am meeting with the accountants and made my way to work.
The very angry e-mail i sent to the big boys and girls at the top of the medical chain must have worked as my patient is going for surgery down south at a major hospital in the new year, the mass is very complex and involves the surrounding organs, plus thyroid. In an ideal world she would of had surgery already. But alas we wait in line. Meanwhile i look at the pile of cases on hold and sigh. We can't save them all but we can care about them. Called all my patients in need of emotional support to let them know we are still here for them and make sure they feeling ok before the weekend.

The weekend is upon us, i have a haircut in the morning and will do some shopping for my young lad Matt. I am going to get a big gym bag, stylish one and fill it full of his favourite things, practical stuff he will use.

Thinking of you all. Thank you for reading.

[Mental Fairy]

It's Monday

A dear friends mum passed away on Saturday. I was unable to be there as i am able to cope well with my own patients but with people i know i am struggling. Three years to the day on sunday since my dad passed away. All happens at once.

Joe has resigned from his new job as his nerves are shot behind the wheel of his truck. I not sure if i said anything in the past but Joes has two suicides under his truck over a space of a dozen years. He recently went back to driving to test himself but he was a wreak every time he got behind the wheel and has many near misses with people overtaking into oncoming traffic. So back to management he goes! He is lucky he can just go back to his old work. He has tried to go back driving on more than one occasion but he can't get past it.
He can also see i'm not well at all with bowel so wants to be close to home more.

Christmas is not something i am invested in, Joe and i have got some things for Matt that are practical and useful. We are all going to head overseas for Christmas next year. Will go to USA on way to UK to see family.

Everything feeling a bit much currently and the workaholic in me just wants to work and distract myself from the feeling of wanting to climb back into bed and pull the covers over my head and just cry as the bowel is just not working well currently. I managed a small jog this morning back turned right back and went home feeling very nauseous.

I just miss the fit energetic Gia. If someone finds her please tell her to go home!!!!!!