Mind Body and Trauma

[Mental Fairy]

Oh I do love your links!!!!!

Yay, just a filling. Remember fillings need checks every year. Do that with your regular dental check up, they can stain as they are made of composite.

Another hot day here. Need rain.

Taking joes grandpa for medical check this morning. Will be a catch up day on patient files and getting ready to get back into it next week.

Thinking of you all daily

[snoringdog]

Hello Mental Fairy,

Another one to add to my armchair list! (Thought it was a typo).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morepork

We do have a bird thread here - "Endlessly Fascinating"

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Beautiful People

Alas, it’s New Year’s Eve. How does one forget New Year’s Eve? I did.

Neighbours will be having a get together that I will not be attending, it was nice of them to invite but I’ve not seen a new year in since birth! No interest in starting now.

This has been an odd Christmas period, restlessness is betting better by the day but the anticipation of work is building. Even though I’m still going in everyday to check email and messages.

It’s blowing a gale here, not calm enough out there for a bike ride as yet. Looking at forecast maybe after 2pm I’ll straddle my trusty wheeled steed and peddle up the hill.

My running has come to a stand still. Only able to run 5km lengths before my mind gives up. I’m very aware it is more mental than. Physical. Or 80% mental, 20% physical. I’ve lost faith in my own body, mind and soul.
Why? Not sure.

There is a plethora of negative self talk, self sabotage and this restless sense of unease. New year brings fresh feelings, fresh anticipation and new worries.

I worry about things naturally. Maybe more than I should.
Yesterday I popped over to neighbours and dropped off some cat food that Mazie Moo Moo Allie Rowe the second won’t eat. Maybe because it’s to natural for her! Anywho, i went over and the daughter whom was visiting with her four month old baby opened the door. She invited me in, she said her mum Deborah was outside on the deck. I walked into the living room and the daughters husband walked in behind me. I’ve never meet this person before even though they have been together for years. Immediately I felt my body clam up. Fear, unease, discomfort washed over me. Something within me stopped me in my tracks and I had to politely leave. Before I turned to go he reached his hand out to shake my hand and I froze. I couldn’t do it. I said I have cat food and treats for Leo and was in a hurry so I’ll catch up another time. He knew immediately I was unsettled and for some reason he stepped in front of me and said to stay had have a chat. I couldn’t leave fast enough.
That feeling doesn’t happen often and I never like to judge a person ever, but I felt so scared to be around him. I can’t explain it but I really felt like a child. A feeling I dislike greatly.

I know we are all collectively fighting some difficult emotions currently and I’m wondering if they are our normal emotions but only heightened and more aware of them due to the time of year. I don’t recall feeling this off last year?

New year plans are to get back into my books, study more, relax on my self negative talk and sleep better.

Thinking of you all. You all mean a lot in totally different ways. Let’s take on the 2023 together and get through this next 12 months as a collective.

[Mental Fairy]

Oh thank you SD. Honestly the Morepork can be heard all night long from anywhere in our street. Very mysterious bird. If I can come back as a Morepork I will!

[snoringdog]

New Year's Eve can be fraught with a mix of emotions. (Auld Lang Syne and all that)

Self-recrimination for failures from the past year. Anxiety about what's coming. Pressure to make resolutions, etc.

I'm going to continue the positive habits I have and when I fail, just try to think of it as another chance to try again. (Every day can be New Years, right?)

[oak]

Mental Fairy, happy new year!

Also, well done for trusting your gut. I encourage you to continue to listen to your gut when it comes to peoples’ vibes.

In a little lighter news, I’m planning to go to the New Year’s Eve 5k in the morning. I might not (read: would not) have gone without your encouragement.

[Mental Fairy]

So looking forward to this update. When it gets hard think of us. Dedication to each km for different reasons help. Or try say the alphabet backwards to take mind of the tough feelings.

Protein afterwards and light stretching.

So proud

Just getting on bike now winds have died down. Push through the lazy feeling and pain I currently have.

[rivergirl]

I'm sorry about your experience with your neighbor, MF. It's good to trust your instinct though.

I hope you enjoyed your ride. It's an accomplishment to get out in the fresh air, even if you aren't able to run lately.

Wishing you a little more peace in the beginning of the New Year.

rg

[Mental Fairy]

Thank you team for your help over 2022.

2023 is here and the roads are silent. I was asleep and attending a movie projected onto the backs of my eyelids by 7:30pm last night. I awoke just before midnight to surrounding parties. Fireworks went off all around and un sequenced countdowns from multiple homes bellowed through the paddocks below. Thankfully horses were moved to a secure location just in case.

After drifting back to sleep and waking up outside on the deck again, I clicked that I have made it through one of the hardest years I have had to face. Yes, bad things have happened in my past much worse than in 2022 but mentally I have had to apply bandaids and face the reality of the damage done.

The focus must be placed on the positive as the negatives take me much longer to bounce back from than they used to cor some reason. Age?

It is Sunday here, Matt is shaving in the bathroom and I can smell the shaving foam. Reminds me of my grandad. Joes at his grandpas washing the outside of his unit and spraying weeds. I’m going to make some homemade sausage rolls today and meal prep for week ahead. Made a yummy pasta salad last night.

When I awoke this morning standing on the deck (as ya do) I saw not two ducks but five. So it looks like I need to get more feed. Dee the girl duck made me smile, I pushed the button to open the shed door so all I had to do was walk down and fill up the bowls. She ran with her little webbed feet as fast as she could go to meet me at the bottom of the internal stairs. She runs past Matt’s car, negotiating his shoes all over the place, much like a grenade exploded shoes everywhere. Flaps her wings to get up a little step and sits by the washing machine with a look only a duck could give. Let’s out a few excited quacks and goes back the way she came as I was empty handed. She seems to tell me stories in her duck ways so I reply with gratitude for having these moments with a wild bird.

So far Dee is the highlight of my day and it’s only 9:30am.

For all of you that are struggling currently please reach out, speak your mind and acknowledge the beauty of small things. I know it’s not nice weather everywhere but we need the balance of water and sunlight. Reach out on your down days and know your thought of.

Hugs to all.

[oak]

Mental Fairy, thank you for sharing. I’m glad your new year is off to good start.

I hope the meal prep proves tasty and helps you have avoid HALT. I also look forward to hearing more about your growing brood of dear ducks.

For some reason it popped in my head that you might enjoy this old old episode:

https://on.soundcloud.com/ksT9t

Anya Marina #89

(It is not available on the main MIHH site, so you may have to go through SoundCloud or something similar, but it is well worth a listen.)

Also, if you’re anything like me, then you can appreciate peppy tunes with completely, deeply arch lyrics. If so, you may enjoy her song, “Miss Halfway”, which oh goodness can I identity with:

https://youtu.be/H1MJ4xfz_dM

Enjoy!