Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

Listen jogging is working unexpectedly well. There are two outcomes that surprised me.

Whether people sense me listening more intently or not, they are:

1. Providing me with noticeably more valuable and useful information
2. Taking care of me more in the way they address me

I’m also talking to myself less when alone; the need seems to be reduced by greater periods of daily listening.

And I’m putting issues down and walking away more; rather than holding on and ruminating later.

Listen jogging is my new favorite hobby.

[Beany Boo]

I’m noticing that staff around me pull themselves together mentally in the lead up to meetings with people they report to; so that they can be on their best behavior for that 30-60 minutes. Then, immediately after, and sometimes for days, they turn to who ever is standing nearby (that they don’t report to or are themselves senior to) and offload on them like, without mercy. Then as another reporting meeting approaches, they start the climb again to best behavior. It’s pretty disgusting but I’m glad I see it now, so that I can mediate it and be conscious enough not to do it myself.

It is also a useful context in which to practice listen jogging; in the sense it might give it more rigor.

[Mental Fairy]

Used to see this action played out in dental practices all the time. It made me sick to watch.

[Beany Boo]

I cannot stop them but I can see them.

Thanks MF

[Mental Fairy]

Hi Beany

Was just reading a book and came across a sentence that made me think of you.

“Delight is a word I rarely use. Delight seems insubstantial; happiness feels more grounded; ecstasy is what we shoot for; satisfaction is hardest to attain.”

[Beany Boo]

Thank you MF

[Beany Boo]

Someone talked at me today. It felt like for hours. It was probably five minutes. I felt cornered. I felt used.

I think I hit the upper limit of how much attention this person is used to getting. They just started to share everything without stopping.

My urge was to flee. In hindsight, I suspect they just needed a few rounds of reassurance that it was safe to stop talking.

I still feel secretly offended and painfully blunted by the experience several hours later. It’s a lesson in the perils of listening. There are limits and signals I still have to learn.

[snoringdog]

My urge was to flee. In hindsight, I suspect they just needed a few rounds of reassurance that it was safe to stop talking.

I'm familiar with this feeling. It's when the "normal" give-and-take dynamics aren't being adhered to in the encounter. (Especially strong with longer-than-typical eye contact. Not sure why some people do this. They don't seem to need to blink very much....).

But I'm sure I've also been on the giving end of the too-much too-fast a few times too

[Beany Boo]

But I'm sure I've also been on the giving end of the too-much too-fast a few times too

It’s all trial and error.

Thanks SD

[snoringdog]

Yes. And good conversations, when they can happen, are gold.

(But almost as rare, it seems)