Mindfulness

[Beany Boo]

I have started a ‘to remember’ list. My attention span is so fleeting now it renders a ‘to do’ list redundant.

If I have a thought which momentarily takes, I know it will shortly evaporate if I don’t write it on the ‘to remember’ list. It’s in a notebook; a hardcopy one. If I try to write it in my phone it dissembles before I’ve even got to the right screen.

It turns out to be quite satisfying;

a) proving to myself I have thoughts with some moment to them
b) relinquishing any compulsive reliance on ‘to do’s’
c) capturing pure memories without any editing

I put the memory down in a word or two. Then if there is a consequence I put a tick against the word once the consequence comes to pass.

[Mental Fairy]

I love that. However by the time I get a pen it’s gone from my mind!

[Beany Boo]

Thanks MF

[snoringdog]

That's why I try to keep a little notebook and pen in my pocket. Not always successful though.
Trick is I guess, knowing which thoughts to record, and which to just let go.

BTW - How long have we been scratching away like this?!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Writing_system

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palaeography

[Beany Boo]

Thank you SD

[Beany Boo]

Feeling like I’m moving through regular emotions with room to spare. I also feel sufficient distance from other people to be able to respond safely as myself. It’s still difficult to gesture or to relax my voice or my neck and shoulders in front of others.

I know that if I start to feel good at any moment I will start to have a reflex to get suspicious. So I don’t need to avoid feeling good just, to be aware that there will be suspicion to mitigate while it’s happening. That’s a focus I can manage.

That said, trying to ‘fix’ myself is a dead end. It’s perfectly rational to long for love and learning from someone somewhere else; and be dissatisfied by its absence. When the longing arises, I stop and take time to long.

[oak]

Feeling like I’m moving through regular emotions with room to spare. I also feel sufficient distance from other people to be able to respond safely as myself.

Very good, Beany Boo.

You’ve come a long way.

[Beany Boo]

Thank you Oak

[Mental Fairy]

You doing ok over there Beany? Can I ask what you use to calm the mind and what your go too is in moments of overthinking?

[Beany Boo]

Can I ask what you use to calm the mind

Its counterintuitive but it’s, I stop trying to calm the mind. I stop forcing it.

what your go too is in moments of overthinking?

Again counterintuitive but, I let the overthought topic overwhelm me. After a certain amount of chaos it subsides like a rainstorm that’s run out of water.

In other words I let the part (of my mind) that is fraught know they can do what they want, how they want, for as long as they want (IFS (Internal Family Systems)). It calms down eventually according to its own schedule and in the knowledge that I trust it, no matter what.

‘Our deepest fears are like dragons, guarding our most precious treasures.’