Bookend: Thursday meeting at work: ending hybrid?

[oak]

Friends, at work on late Thursday morning, my work buddies and I are having an hour-long meeting to discuss "policy", specifically the hybrid work policy. They scheduled this meeting two weeks ago.

My friends and I have good reason to believe that my supervisors will, not without reason, cut our work from home from two days a week, to zero days a week.

I'll post Thursday evening with an update as to how it goes.

You may not be surprised that two weeks to stew on a vague meeting about "policy" can inspire a person to apply for other jobs.

With your kind indulgence, in addition to the big Thursday update, I'll have brief updates as to my number of interviews. Here is the status as of first thing Monday morning (tomorrow), four days before Thursday:

Jobs applied for: 5
Phone screens/initial interviews: 2
Second interviews: 0
Job offers: 0

[Mental Fairy]

Is relocation to a different place altogether off the table?

[oak]

Is relocation to a different place altogether off the table?

Yes, Mental Fairy, that is very much the plan: you're the fourth person to advise me to do so. I intend to, as soon as I change jobs/careers and become financially stable.

Friends, I am 24 hours from the meeting, and wracked with anxiety.

I have a headache and dread. This has ruined my day/week.

(Part of reason I post this, in addition to being honest, is that so someday I can come back to this and remember what this is like. There must be a better way to live.)

[Mental Fairy]

Rise above Oak, you are strong and can push through. Be your honest self.

[rivergirl]

Hi Oak,

I wanted to post in your thread to send good thoughts Wednesday evening but am just able to be back online today. I was thinking of you yesterday.

How did it go?

rg

[oak]

Thank you, as always, dear friends Mental Fairy and RiverGirl. Your encouragement gave me happiness during a very sad week.

Bookend 2 of 2:

The meeting itself was postponed a week, without comment.

I realized much of this situation is my fault/responsibility, and we happily created a plan forward. (btw, I'll accept a performance improvement plan if they give me one, since I completely was late daily.)

Though it is 48 hours later, I still have something if an emotional hangover. It is scary to face one’s faults, but scarier not to.

Thanks for listening, my dear friends!

[rivergirl]

Hi Oak,

I'm sorry it was a sad week for you, but glad to know that you have a glimpse of a path forward at work in the near future. I hope the postponement of the meeting to next week isn't a cause for stress.

It's good to recognize your responsibility and work on change, although I do think sometimes a behavior like being late is a symptom of something deeper (grief, despair, etc.)

Sending you a bit of extra courage for the week ahead. I already think you show courage in your actions and are stronger than you know.

rg

[oak]

Friends, the meeting happened, it was completely sweet and kind.

Corporate America, in the person of my supervisor, was clear but kind.

There was no belittling, accusing, demeaning, anger, or even a raised voice.

Now, I am very clear that I need to be on time going forward.

Still, for now that is just clarity, dignity, and clearly expressing reasonable expectations and boundaries. It is a real pleasure to be around adults who are actually grown up, if that makes sense.

Mental health, kindness, and dignity won yesterday.

[oak]

Friends! It has been three weeks since the meeting, and I am increasingly happy it happened, and that it happened the way it did:

Boundaries, kindness, dignity, consequences

My supervisor was very clear, and kind. He plainly stated his boundaries, which were reasonable, and described consequences if the clear expectations were not met.

He did this is caring, non-reactive way, which afforded us/me dignity.

Since then, I've done much better, if not perfectly.

I mention all this because this is how adults act, and it is very rare: setting emotion aside to clearly describe boundaries.

I think about what life could be like if we treated each other like this even 50% of the time.